Not There To See Me Fall
by Loads of Randomness
Summary: Second in my 'Falling' Trilogy. They've admitted they've fallen in love but they've fallen apart. What are the werewolves doing? What's happening at Hogwarts? Will their whole world fall apart? When will they pick up the pieces?
1. Falling apart

Harry disappeared into the hustle and bustle of the Muggle World, so had the Grangers. The Weasleys were being rounded up and left also along with the Order members.

Dora was staring at him. She looked slightly ill and tired now that everyone had left, well she was just out of St. Mungo's and Sirius had . . . left them, for good.

Remus wrapped his arm around her and apparated to a lonely street where there was no one about. The street appeared to have no living creature in it but he could pick up the scent of rats and the odd cat. Everything was grey or brown; it must've been the most depressing area in England even with the clear sky above them.

Dora looked around, "Bit dreary, isn't it?"

"Matches everyone's mood," he replied, not meaning to joke.

They were both silent as they paced down the street. It didn't look like anyone lived here, buildings were boarded up and rubbish littered the road.

"I have a new mission from Albus," Remus started carefully.

"Hmm, really? How long will you be away this time?" Dora asked disinterestedly.

Remus inwardly squirmed before answering, "An indefinite amount of time."

"Oh, wait, WHAT?" she exclaimed, spinning around to face him. "Why?"

"I'm actually infiltrating the werewolves this time." He explained

"And you don't know when you can leave?" Dora said questioningly.

Remus nodded nervously, "I can't have any contact from the Order either, I have to 'be' one of them."

Dora stood there, staring at him. It was unnerving, she was never this quiet.

"How long have you known this?" Dora demanded

"A week, at most." He answered uneasily.

"Then why the hell did you not say sooner?" she was deathly calm for someone so agitated.

"I was... thinking."

"Of what exactly? What the hell would you need to think about?" Dora was tearing up but why?

"That we couldn't be together," he finally said quietly but Dora heard it loud and clear.

"WHAT?" she positively shrieking, successfully nearly bursting his eardrums and shattering one of the few windows with glass in it. The tears in her eyes overflowed and fell onto her pale cheeks.

"We can't be together, it's too dangerous. I can't lose you." Remus said, praying that she would understand.

"And I can't lose you! I love you, Remus. Don't leave." Implored Dora, eyes wide and begging

How he wished that he could give into those eyes. He couldn't, he had to steel himself fir the inevitable.

"I have to," Remus choked out, trying to control his own emotions.

"No, you don't" countered Dora, not bothering to wipe away her tears. He longed to do so but that wouldn't be appropriate given the situation he had put himself in. "You're choosing to do this!"

"Dora," he pleaded, "Don't make this harder than it has to be!"

Dora hiccupped slightly and demanded, "Is this hard for you Remus Lupin?"

"Yes!" he exclaimed, it felt like his heart was ripping further apart the longer he spoke.

"Then don't end this!" Dora yelled, flinging her arms out everywhere, "We can still be together even when you're on this damn mission!"

"I could die, Dora, it wouldn't be fair," explained Remus as patiently as he could, "And Greyback's going to end up tracking me down and he'll try and destroy everything I cherish most to get to me"

"I'm used to danger Remus!" retorted Dora, her gorgeous eyes welling up with tears, "I'M A BLOODY AUROR! I CAN HANDLE IT AND I AM NOT A BABY! And, and I love you Remus, too much to lose you. Please," she had whispered that last part, causing him more pain than her shouts.

"No, everyone I cherish most ends up dead," he spat, "Marlene, Lily, James, the OLD Peter, Sirius. I don't want you to be next. Anyway, I'm too old; you have your whole life ahead of you. I'm too poor, no one will hire me and I'm dangerous, I could kill you at any time by accident! People will look down on you and scorn you just for hanging around me. You don't deserve that."

"Not this again" said Dora, rolling her eyes like it was nothing, "I've told you before I DON'T CARE! You're using this as an excuse, don't hide away. You may have lost your last brother but you have more friends now. You can't hide away from everything, you're meant to be a Gryffindor. Where's all this bravery you're meant to have."

Remus shook his head; it shouldn't have been like this. It had come out all wrong. Her last comment had hurt but he couldn't show it.

"I-I meant that we should just split apart while the war is on," he stammered, "When it's over maybe you'll find yourself someone more suitable for you. You don't deserve me, Dora. No one does."

"You have no right to call me Dora if you're BREAKING MY HEART!" shouted Dora, "When will this war ever be over? Huh? Answer that Mr. I-Know-What's-Best-For-Effing-Everyone! And if we're going to die in this war I want it to happen when I'm happy, with you."

"You only think that," he began, wondering what to say next without getting slapped.

Dora cut him off, "No you think that. But is this what you want?"

Remus nodded and her hair went from its angry black with red streaks to dark blue with black tips. What did those colours mean? Then he saw the tears in her eyes, her beautiful eyes.

"Fine, if that's the way you want Remus Lupin, so be it" bellowed Dora through streams of tears.

She stomped across the street into the opposite alleyway and apparated away. He stared at the spot where she had disappeared as if it would bring her back. He wanted to follow her and hold her in his arms saying he didn't mean it but he couldn't. He had to do that, it didn't make it any easier though.

Remus Lupin was alone, again.


	2. Shock and denial

Stunned, that was the only emotion that she could register when Remus tried to explain why he was cutting off their relationship. Tonks couldn't feel anything else and just about heard Remus trying to make her believe that this was the right thing to do. Then she had snapped and yelled at him.

Now she was curled up on her bed in her flat, her pillow soaked through with tears.

"He didn't do that," she muttered into her pillow. "He didn't. This is a dream. Yeah, a dream. I've knocked myself out and now I'm having a nightmare. I'll wake up and it'll be the day before we had to scare Harry's relatives."

A fresh round of tears broke through her frantic monologue. This couldn't be happening to her, it couldn't. They were –are- perfect for one another. Clumsy, little Tonks and tall, bookworm Moony, that's what Sirius had jokingly called them, two opposites and two parts of a whole.

That just couldn't all end. It couldn't, nothing had gone wrong so why did it even happen?

Tonks wracked her brain in a desperate attempt to find any clue, no matter how small, on why Remus might've broken up with her. Before Sirius' dea- the Department of Mysteries everything had been fine. She'd been teased by Sirius; Remus had attempted to start some intelligent sounding conversations only to be stopped by a comment from her. All in all, she couldn't remember doing anything that may upset him to the extent of breaking up.

He had been awfully quiet for the past few days, Tonks pondered, wiping away the tears still present on her face. Why was that? He had let it slip that he had had a meeting but Remus never said he had a meeting unless it was with. . . Dumbledore.

So, Dumbledore gave him the mission. There was nothing odd about that, Dumbledore assigned all of the missions. But she knew what this mission was; it really wasn't a reason to break up in her eyes. Tonks had always been a target, especially since dear Auntie Bella is loose and Remus knew that. So, that couldn't be the only reason.

If only Sirius was here, he would, he wou- . More tears welled up in her eyes. This would have never happened if Sirius hadn't died. If he was alive he would've called Remus a git or even stopped Remus before something this bad could happen.

Merlin, Tonks couldn't handle all of this at once. She decided that a glass of water might help her calm down a bit. Tonks saw her reflection in the mirror, she looked horrible. Her face was pale, her hair was tangled and her eyes and nose were bright red. Screwing up her face Tonks morphed herself, it took more out of her than usual but that was probably because of all the crying and the fact that she put most of her energy into her grief. Now her hair was dark blue and her face was a more normal skin tone.

Tonks rummaged around for a glass, knocking over more things than usual as her arms shook. The water spurted out of the tap like her tears did not too long ago.

Well, she wouldn't get anything done moping around, like her dad said. Tonks gulped down her water and decided to track down a few mates. Making her way over to the main room of her small flat she chucked some floo powder onto the fireplace which flared green.

"Michelle Jackson's house, Parkview Road!" she called into the flames.

A short but unpleasant spinning sensation later she had the lovely view of her mate's floor. Michelle wasn't really a close mate, Leah was closer, but Michelle was always up for a drink and didn't ask questions.

"Hey, Tonks!" greeted Michelle, running towards the fireplace.

"I need a good long drink, you up for it?" Tonks asked bluntly, not feeling up to normal social niceties.

"Sure, me 'nd Carl will join you in five at The Hunt." Michelle agreed, and then gave her an odd look.

"What?"

"Did you floo me in the middle of morphing? You've got no colour." Michelle said, staring at Tonks' hair.

Tonks looked down awkwardly at her hair; it was its natural mousey brown. Why was it like that? It wasn't as if she wasn't in control of her emotions now... She shrugged and then remembering that Michelle couldn't see her shoulders replied;

"Yeah, forgot 'bout that," she retorted easily. "See you in five, then?"

Michelle smiled and affirmed it. Tonks yanked her head from the fireplace and stumbled around a bit as all the blood rushes from her head. She really has to stop getting up too fast. Screwing up her face she forced her hair to turn black with neon orange, pink and green tips

She really couldn't be bothered fixing herself up so she grabbed a purple jumper, no, not that, that was the one she wore on her date with him. Tonks chucked the jumper as hard as she could and grabbed her jacket. Fling it on herself she practically ran to the door in her eagerness to drown her sorrows in strong alcohol.

Before Tonks knew it she was at the pub she and her mates frequented. It wasn't dark yet, it was June after all, but it was after working hours. There was barely any traffic on the roads.

She wandered into the semi-dark pub and searched for her mates. Almost instantly she found Michelle Jackson which wasn't hard considering she had dyed her hair bright blue. The fact that she was six foot also helped.

"Tonks!" she called over, waving enthusiastically. Michelle must have already had a drink in her, when sober she was broody and sarcastic the complete opposite of the normally bubbly and cheeky Tonks. Which was probably why they weren't that close.

She darted over to her friend, bumping into Carl who steadied the drinks he was carrying and allowing her to fall to the floor. Tonks huffed, making him grin down at her. Remus wouldn't have cared for the drinks her would have grabbed her first. She shook her head, none of those thoughts now; she came here to forget a few hours.

"Hey, McAnderson," Tonks greeted, jumping up from the shiny, wooden floor.

Carl nodded in greeting, he wasn't much of a talker, and followed her back to their table.

Carl distributed the tall glasses and she immediately downed half of it. Her two companions said nothing of this. It was the general rule in their group not to question anyone if they needed a good long drink unless the person decided to loosen their tongue. Well, there was no way she was going to speak of this to anyone.

Tonks swiftly finished her drink, welcoming the burning feeling as it tricked down her throat and into her stomach. She watched as Michelle was flirting drunkenly with a man at another table, Michelle really couldn't hold her alcohol. Carl tried to pull Michelle away, not succeeding.

There was nothing like alcohol and drunken friends to serve as a distraction.


	3. Pain and Guilt

Remus Lupin was in his parents, no it was his now, house packing away the belongings he would require when he infiltrated the werewolf pack in Ireland. He knew he wasn't leaving until August at the earliest but he wanted to be prepared early so he had time to change things. Remus was always like that, even in school he would do his homework the day he received it and then went over it during the days before he had to hand it in. It had driven the other Marauders mad.

"_It makes us look bad!" _James had told him

"_And it makes you look weird," _Sirius had kindly added

Even by his standards he was organizing things early. Remus couldn't help that, he was feeling restless. If he didn't do anything he may go mad or burst into tears. He couldn't lose control, he couldn't, he'd done too much of that in the last two weeks.

Remus had cried, shouted, cursed in the privacy of his childhood house after the d-death of his final brother. Once he had calmed down he immediately regretted doing all that he did. And then there was Nymphadora. He could kill himself for almost shouting at her a few days ago but she had to realise that they couldn't be together.

"But she doesn't realise that. Please Merlin let her see that this is all for the best," he whispered into the silence of his house.

If only Nymphadora could see reason, she had to know in her heart that this was how it was meant to be, right? People...beasts...monsters like him weren't meant to have love in their life. They had to be shunned, ignored. Not accepted, liked or even loved.

"You deserve her," his conscious whispered

He stubbornly shook his head, Remus didn't deserve anyone. He couldn't slow down her life or even ruin her life because of him and his curse. It would be selfish to ask that of Nymphadora, or anyone.

Remus vented his frustration by chucking a book (entitled: 'Much Ado about Nothing') far across the room. It hit the wall and slid to the floor inaudibly.

Damn you Fenrir Greyback.

To calm himself down Remus went over the entire plan in his head. First the facts, they were the easiest to cover.

The pack was in the Northern half of Ireland, with any luck Greyback wouldn't have any influence there because of the distance. That and Greyback preferred terrorising Britain. When he had spied on them there were eleven males, eight females and six orphan children. Of course, by now the Pack may have grown and new alphas may have been established. Unfortunately that was pretty much all he knew for certain.

The cover stories were easy for Remus to come up with; it should be by now thanks to the Marauders. The one thing he learnt during his time as a Marauder was always keep your cover stories as close to the truth as possible, don't make up too many new things unless you absolutely have to. That way you were less suspicious and likely to screw up if you forgot something.

His name would be Jonathan, he had been turned as a child but his parents had cared for him. Unfortunately, they had died when he was thirteen leaving him no one to turn to so he roamed Britain since then. He eventually gave up and decided to try his luck in Ireland.

From there he would try and gain their trust and hopefully their allegiance. If the plan was successful before the year was out he would try and infiltrate any werewolf pack in England and try and do the same. Remus didn't hold much hope out for the second part; all werewolf packs in England and Scotland were almost completely under Greyback's command.

If he was lucky, extremely lucky, he would find one of the few packs that weren't. If he was extremely unlucky he would end up in Greyback's Pack and probably end up getting slaughtered at some point.

Remus kept up this train of thought for a while, mentally triple checking everything. This way he could ignore the pain he had felt, and still felt, when he saw the broken look in Nymphadora's eyes.

Merlin, every time he thought of her his heart shattered just that bit more. Remus' heart was telling him to go and find Nymphadora and beg her to take him back and that he was sorry for causing her even the slightest bit of pain. His head was telling him that there was nothing he could do now and everything was playing out perfectly. Harry was safe, Nymphadora wouldn't be put in any danger and he was helping the Order.

"It's for the best," Remus told himself repeatedly trying to ignore the image of Nymphadora's heartbroken eyes which had kept popping up at random moments during the last few days.

That look almost, almost, made Remus break and want to go fix everything but he couldn't. Anyway, Remus had definitely wrecked everything now so he just had to get on with life, just like he always had to.

If only her sweet face would get out of his head. Every time he saw it he kept thinking that there was a possibility that she would give him another chance. That wouldn't happen, Remus wouldn't let it happen.

"Too dangerous, too old, too poor," was his internal mantra as he persuaded himself that this was how it was meant to be.

"But remember how happy she was and then you broke that," a voice in the back of his head whispered which sounded suspiciously like James. He always was trying to get him to go out with someone, anyone and had the annoying ability to point out the truth.

"She'll be happier now," Remus spoke aloud, forgetting he was arguing with himself.

"Bullshit," the voice retorted now sounding like Sirius. "Now go shag her."

He completely ignored that particular little voice, especially the last comment. There was no use in thinking things like that.

So Remus just brushed away the feeling of pain that settled inside him and carried on packing.


	4. From the Grave

**AN: I know Dumbledore says in HBP that Sirius gave whatever he owned to Harry. I am making a few ... (il)legal ... adjustments to his Will. **

A Gringotts owl landed on the narrow windowsill outside her closed kitchen window. It hooted indignantly and pecked the glass.

"All right, all right I'm coming you stupid feather ball," muttered Tonks, annoyed as she had just come home from work. She did not want to return to the chaos that was the effing Ministry of bloody Magic any time soon that was for sure.

Tonks all but snatched the heavy piece of parchment from the creature's outstretched leg. It glowered at her and fluttered its wings, knocking over everything she had crammed onto her small draining board.

"Effing animal," Tonks cursed angrily as she shot the said owl a death glare and began repairing all of the broken plates and cup. "I've got the letter, you can go now," she informed the owl curtly, motioning towards the window.

Thankfully it took the hint and flew off but not without leaving its droppings on the floor. A flick of her wand cleared that disgusting mess.

She warily opened the very official looking envelope, wondering what on earth would be in it. Gingerly Tonks opened the envelope, allowing a piece of folded parchment to fall out.

_Auror Nymphadora Tonks_

_It has come to our attention that your cousin once removed, Sirius Orion Black, has recent demised. He had left instructions that you, along with your parents, Andromeda Cassiopeia Tonks and Theodore Marcus Tonks, Remus John Lupin and Harry James Potter are one of the recipients of his Will._

Tonks had to stop reading there because her eyes were now covered in unshed tears. Not enough time had passed for her to remember Sirius with happiness. His death was too raw and recent. The last thing she wanted to think about was what he left her because it meant he was never coming back.

Tonks wanted to crumple up the damned parchment but after several efforts her only outcome was several paper cuts and had only slightly bent a corner of the heavy parchment. So she really had no choice but to continue reading.

_Unfortunately due to the recent political climate we at Gringotts feel that it may be unsafe for you to come and retrieve the items he has left to you until updated security measures are completed. For a fee of five galleons we shall place the following items in your vault, Vault 904._

From an Auror's viewpoint she thought that the goblins were intelligent for saying that going as a crowd to Gringotts would attract unwanted attention now that the war was announced. Tonks would prefer not to get ambushed in Diagon Alley, thank you very much.

_To verify that this letter has been received by the correct person, please place a single drop of blood on the space below. If verified your itemised list should appear._

Sighing wearily Tonks pricked her finger with a conjured needle and allowed one drop of blood to land on the provided space. The red liquid sunk into the creamy parchment and flashed purple, signifying that she was the validated person.

_I Sirius Orion Black leave my first cousin once removed, Nymphadora Andromeda Tonks (Sorry Nymmie! It was for legal reasons, please don't bring me back to life just to kill me again!);_

_-300 galleons_

_-Marauders Animagus Notes (Three stacks of notes entitled; Theory, Preparation and Our Mistakes and Why They Happened)_

_-an umbrella stand in the shape of a troll's leg_

_-Three Photo Albums _

_-One clump of magically enchanted mistletoe_

_Please contact Gringotts Bank for any further enquires_

_Assistant Director Glanork_

Tonks stared unseeingly at the letter. Now she was curious about everything on that list, bar the money but she was mad at Sirius for leaving her so much. The memory of Sirius was priceless, something that couldn't equal any number of galleons!

She was grateful for the notes though. She was almost finished the humungous book she had nicked from Grimmauld. You couldn't become an Animagus with just that book, which was why it was the reading material an Animagus trainer gave you if you need to go over certain parts again. Tonks felt bad for feeling so curious about something a dead person had given her.

That feeling stopped as soon as she saw the third item The Prat aka Sirius Black had left her. That bloody, effing, stupid umbrella stand. That idiot had a dumb sense of humour but, strangely enough, she missed that thing. Not tripping over it but being caught by Remus and being teased by Sirius. It was normally the way that they knew that Tonks had entered.

The photo albums were the items that made her curious. Tonks was unaware of any photos of herself that Sirius may have had, so what was in them? That was definitely worth a trip to Gringotts.

The final item listed brought mixed emotions to the surface; sorrow, annoyance and happiness. Mainly annoyance because Sirius didn't appear to stop winding her up once his life ended, which was quite an achievement. Tonks felt mixed happiness and sorrow because her memory of the mistletoe was a happy one but she was sad because she felt that she wouldn't ever feel that happy again. Okay, that was being over dramatic but Tonks felt that she was allowed to be considering that she was in mourning and her boyfriend had left her for no damn reason.

Maybe she would've been better off going back into work. At least the chaos distracted her; it had taken Tonks four hours to sort the crap on her desk into piles. The sheer amount of parchment there could probably bury her alive.

First there was the list of precautions that the Ministry wanted to send out to all the wizarding homes. The Aurors had to decide what went on those lists (thankfully not type them up). That had taken an age for everyone to come to some sort of an agreement.

Then there were a number of raids that were being organised over the next few weeks. They were specifically targeting the homes of the Death Eaters captured at the Department of Mysteries.

There was also talk of people getting moved around. Quite frankly Tonks didn't care; she didn't think she could stand sitting in her office all day so she hoped that she would be getting an assignment elsewhere.

At the minute though, Tonks felt like she needed a good long sleep. There would be plenty of time to be pessimistic in the morning.


	5. Even Beyond Death

**AN: So sorry for the long wait everyone! By the way this is the same day as the previous Chapter which I make the 28****th**** of June, kay?**

A very tired Remus Lupin dragged himself into his parents' house (He still couldn't bring himself to call it his even if his parents had been dead for eight years). He had been skulking around Knockturn Alley and all of its side streets, hoping to pick up some Death Eater activity. Remus had received some nuggets of information, thanks to the barman of The Dragon's Den in Darkened Avenue.

He had learnt that Voldemort's most recent recruits were recruited in that very Bar by none other than Dolohov and a Lestrange. Remus unfortunately didn't find out which Lestrange because a direct question would raise suspicions.

Remus also found out that Voldemort was soon going to hunt down people personally. Again, he unfortunately didn't know who he would be targeting as even the people who lived in Knockturn Alley had a healthy respect of Voldemort's power.

Still, it was amazing that being an infrequent regular at a dodgy area could provide so much information. It felt good to be actually doing something now that they didn't have to guard that stupid prophesy. Hopefully Remus could be more useful once he left on this mission, meanwhile he uncover as much as he could via Knockturn.

As he was writing down his findings, Remus failed to see the Gringotts owl until it tapped its claw angrily on the window. He jumped out of his chair in shock and then hurried over to open the window; Gringotts owls were known to break windows if they weren't allowed entry after a certain amount of time.

The owl fluttered in and jerked out its leg with an official envelope on it. Remus untied it quickly; owls normally weren't fond of him, the owl glaring at him the entire time. He pointed the owl towards a water bowl but the owl shook its head haughtily and flew away proudly.

Shrugging his shoulders Remus cautiously opened the envelope. Not because he was wary of any curses on it, no one would dare to do anything of the sort to Gringotts mail; personally Remus thought it was impossible to do anything of the sort unless you were a goblin. No, he was wary because he did not have any idea what may be inside.

Pretty soon the envelope was torn and Remus held the letter in his hands. His eyes scanned the heavy parchment.

_Mr. Remus Lupin_

_It has come to our attention that a close friend of yours, Sirius Orion Black, has recent demised. He had left instructions that you, along with Andromeda Cassiopeia Tonks, Theodore Marcus Tonks, Nymphadora Andromeda Tonks and Harry James Potter are one of the recipients of his Will._

Remus could have smacked himself. Of course this would be about Sirius' Will! Why else would Gringotts even think to contact him otherwise? He was one of the witnesses to the Will, he should have remembered.

Though, there had been so much happening since then and it was rather easy to forget signing something that he did not even want to think about in the first place.

He shut up his internal berating and forced himself to continue reading reluctantly; Remus had told Sirius that he shouldn't leave him much.

_Unfortunately due to the recent political climate we at Gringotts feel that it may be unsafe for you to come and retrieve the items he has left to you until updated security measures are completed. For a fee of five galleons we shall place the following items in your vault, Vault 548._

_To verify that this letter has been received by the correct person, please place a single drop of blood on the space below. If verified your itemised list should appear._

One safety pin stuck into his finger later and the rest of the document appeared.

_I Sirius Orion Black leave my brother in all but blood, Remus John Lupin; _

_-500 galleons (I would leave you more but I don't want you killing me as well as Pixie-Girl)_

_-Ten Photo Albums_

_- Ten stacks of bound parchment labelled, 'Marauder Notes'._

_- Thirty-five books_

_-One clump of magically enchanted mistletoe_

_(Told you I could be Sirius, Moony!)_

_Please contact Gringotts Bank for any further enquires_

_Assistant Director Glanork_

Remus could only blink at the parchment in his hand. His face may have shown no emotion but inside emotions were warring with each other. Anger threatened grief, bitter happiness fought with guilt and curiosity trickled through as well.

He collapsed into a chair, reflecting on the contents of the document. Remus was still grieving for his brother and the Gringotts letter didn't help matters much. If anything it reopened wounds he thought that he had covered.

Anger surged through him when Remus remembered the money that Sirius left him. He had told Sirius repeatedly that he didn't take any charity! But what did it mean that Sirius didn't want Remus to kill him as well as Nymphadora? What had he left her that would make her angry?

Remus shook his head, he shouldn't be thinking of Nymphadora now. Not when there were more...more important things to think about.

He thought he knew what the photo albums were and had a vague idea what they contained. For every year the Marauders were at school, they each kept their own photo album of that year. It was somewhat of a tradition. They each kept what pictures they liked best. As a result, Remus' were neat and chronological with a variety of photos, James' were mainly set outdoors and Sirius kept those which were them doing pranks and the results of said pranks. So that accounted for seven of the photo albums, what about the other three?

He would have to get to Gringotts soon and look at them; Remus had to admit that they made him curious which he felt bad about but he couldn't help it.

Remus grinned at the thought of the 'Marauder Notes'. He remembered working on those. Well, working on some of them. Some of them would be actual notes passed between the Marauders during class time. They would also contain the planning of most of their pranks. Remus couldn't wait to look through those again. It would bring back happier memories.

He also was extremely interested in the books Sirius left him. Why would Sirius Black even think about books? That was also a good excuse to go to Gringotts.

His eyes settled on the final thing that Sirius left him and sighed heavily. That mistletoe brought up so many memories which were now tainted by his necessary actions. It was no good thinking about it now, the deed had been done and Remus couldn't change anything.

A bitter smile flitted across Remus' scarred face as he reread the final sentence. That mutt always had to have the last word, didn't he? Unwanted tears welled up in his eyes. Remus refused to let them fall.

It was better to move on and forget, if possible.


	6. Bloody Ministry

**AN: This is the 30th of June now because of the amount of stuff that happens in this week, I changed the date in the previous chapter**

Tonks felt like she should be banging her head off something hard rather than trying to get all this new information that Robards had just given everyone. She rubbed at her eyes and started sorting through the huge pile of parchment, notes and photos that Williams had handed out.

She stuck the photos of all known Death Eaters on the wall right of her desk. There were enough photos to make four columns each made up of seven photos. It made her shiver to think that those were only the most well known, violent and dangerous ones. The short notes on each one were stuck to the left of each photo.

Bellatrix and Lucius glared down at her as she arranged their notes. Tonks really wished that she could scribble on handle bar moustaches and Trelawney glasses but nooooo that would be unprofessional.

All the extensive information on the Death Munchers were then organised and slipped into her drawers. There were a few notices on security tightening everywhere and advising any family members of Aurors to put their houses under tight protection, yadda yadda. Her parents were already under protection due to her being in the Order.

Oh, how she missed the days when she was simply called out because some person decided that going over Ministry guidelines and experimenting with slightly dark magic was fun. That was basically what she had done last year and the year before, well, that and a heck of a lot of bloody paperwork. Now everything was upside down and inside out and was giving Tonks a migraine. Note to self: Stock up on more Headache relieving potion.

With any luck Tonks wouldn't be here for a while. There was talk about most Junior Aurors and a fair amount of normal Aurors (i.e. those who have been Aurors for five years and more) would be assigned to guard areas like Azkaban, Hogsmeade/Hogwarts and Diagon Alley with Senior Aurors overlooking them all. The top Aurors like Scrimgeour, Robards, Williams and Andrews were all guarding important Ministry officials like Amelia Bones and Fudge. Though, Fudge wasn't really the Minister anymore but unfortunately he was still important.

Kinsley had moved out today, he had been placed as guard to the Muggle Minister and would be posing as his secretary. Tonks had teased him mercilessly over that.

Personally Tonks hoped that she wouldn't be stuck in Azkaban duty, she had had enough doom and gloom recently to last her a lifetime. That and she didn't have strong enough happy memories to keep off the chill of dementors. Tonks usually used a memory of her and Remus and Sirius fooling around but that was tainted by Sirius' death and Re- that idiot.

Suddenly she heard gasps and shrieks of horror along with furious whispering. Tonks darted outside her cramped office and looked in the direction of the disturbance. Scrimgeour limped past her, scowling darkly at everyone.

"Quit your gawping and get back to work!" he roared.

It was then Tonks noticed the recently healed gash down the left side of his head. It must've been extremely deep since the skin surrounding it was still red and swollen. Scrimgeour's guards hastily followed behind him, wounds noticeable on their faces and arms.

She unconsciously started counting the members of the guard, Hart, Adams and where was third one? Tonks swore under her breath and got out of their way. Why hadn't they got medical attention?

Scrimgeour had his hand on his office door when he seemed to realise that the crowd of Aurors weren't going anywhere.

He turned round and said gruffly, "Armstrong's dead. Got killed while protecting my back."

It was like Dumbledore had just entered the room, the voices died down that fast. Those who had worked closely with David Armstrong were in shock and some were openly weeping.

"He was a brave man and I hope to see many of you at his funeral," continued Scrimgeour with no emotion. He turned to face her directly, "Auror Tonks, notify his family immediately."

"Yes, sir," she replied quickly and left once no other information was coming her way.

After finding out where Armstrong lived with his wife, Tonks made her way towards the lifts, fighting through hoards of people who wanted to get to Fudge. She couldn't bring herself to pity the man; it was his fault that the Auror department was in complete disarray and the reason why she and everyone else were run ragged.

Tonks eventually got to Atrium and apparated as soon as her foot hit the apparition area. She found herself in a busy area of Chelmsford. She had decided to apparate near the Central Library and simply walk the rest of the way so she could get her head cleared and figure out what to say to Armstrong's wife and three kids. Bugger, how was she supposed to stay emotionless and detached? What if the woman got hysterical? She had wanted to make a visit to Gringotts, she wouldn't get that done today.

Tonks turned right halfway down Parkway and strode purposely down Park Road until she reached number fifteen. She hesitated at the door but shrugged off her misgivings and rapped on the door.

There was a scream of, "Mum! Door!" and the sound of hurried footsteps.

"Yes, How can I help you," A short auburn haired woman answered and then got a proper look at her. "Oh,"

"Mrs Julie Armstrong?" Tonks asked the woman, who nodded. "May I come in? This isn't something that should be discussed on the doorstep."

Mrs Armstrong replied nervously, "Of course, come right in."

Tonks followed the slightly plump woman, feeling sorry. She must be scared, especially since the war had officially started, about any contact with the people who her husband had worked with. And when an Auror in full uniform, grey robes with the blood red dragon on the chest and crossed wand and sword below it with her badge on her breast pocket, turned up it could really only mean bad news.

Mrs. Armstrong led her into a sitting room, chasing two small girls out, and busied herself by preparing a pot of tea. Tonks refused a cup, feeling awful that she was bringing terrible news to her.

"It is bad news, isn't it?" she finally asked, hands shaking.

Tonks nodded and stood up, "On behalf of the entire Auror Department, I am sorry to inform you that your husband, Senior Auror David Armstrong, has been murdered by Death Eaters while protecting Head Auror Scrimgeour."

Mrs. Armstrong burst into quiet sobs. "I knew this would happen. I told him! I told him to quit, it was too dangerous." She said between her sobs, "But, no, he had a duty to his country and he was going to do it no matter what."

Tonks couldn't bear leave the woman crying there so she went over and held her shoulders.

"You have been asked to collect his body and to ask Head Auror Scrimgeour for any details about his death. He always fought bravely." She told the devastated woman.

"T-thank you," dear," Mrs. Armstrong managed to get out. "It can't be easy for you doing this. Be safe."

Tonks tried to smile at her but it probably came out as a grimace. That was an obvious dismissal so she left, spying some peering eyes through the bars of the banisters. It was the three children, three children who would now grow up without they're father.

She felt awful for grieving over her loss of Remus and Sirius when others had so obviously lost so much more.


	7. Awkward Meetings

Remus Lupin woke up moaning in the afternoon light. The full moon had set hours ago but all the healing potions made him drowsy. He winced as his side ached with a stabbing pain. Moony hadn't taken Padfoot's absence well. It had been like this after the Potters' deaths as well, only worse because he'd lost far more pack mates. Remus had woken up on the 28th of November 1981 to a thin layer of blood covering almost his entire body, five gashes that bled profusely and a shredded ear. Thank Merlin for the Flesh Fixing Potion or else his ear would have looked permanently melted.

He yawned and stretched, all his bones seemed to crack as one. He had better get up and do something productive. Yes, it was the day after the full moon and he was tired but he couldn't sit around and do nothing. Not when everyone else did so much more.

He had been like this the last time as well; always trying to force himself to bounce back straight after full moon's so he could do more. His friends were always the ones who stopped him and helped heal him, something Remus was always grateful for. Unfortunately, they also refused to listen to him when Remus told them he wasn't pulling his weight within the Order. Once Lily, James, Sirius and Marlene ganged up on him and tied him to his bed. Then warded the door!

Now, it was different. None of his friends were here to hold him back. Remus was going to go to Gringotts once he healed himself and got a decent meal into him.

A dose of Pain Relieving Potion and a smear of Essence of Dittany later, Remus was wolfing down a hastily prepared meal of bacon sandwiches, his favourite. He would have to see about getting some meat for dinner and cook it rare. He was always longing for almost raw meat straight before and after the full moon.

Remus finished up his meals and sent his dish into the sink, saying to himself that he'd wash it later. Throwing floo powder into the fire he yelled "Leaky Cauldron!" and disappeared into the green flames.

He stepped calmly out of the fireplace at the pub and nodded to Tom, who had looked up hopefully at the flare of the fireplace. Remus smiled sadly as he looked around the empty bar. It was worse than the First War.

"I'll be back for a pint, Tom," Remus informed the barman, he had a feeling he'd need it after looking at his inherited items. Tom smiled at him but it wasn't a true one.

Remus strode calmly through Diagon Alley, taking note of the wanted posters. The Ministry was still busy keeping up public of places. He winced as his side gave off a wave of discomfort, he'd need to buy more pain reliever while he was here.

Gringotts was straight ahead of him now in all of its proud glory seemingly unaware of the war building up.

A flash of pink appeared in the corner of his left eye, he whirled around only to see...nothing. Puzzled, Remus spun in a circle hoping yet not wanting to see that oh so familiar colour again. In a shop window he saw a bright pink T-Shirt.

Sighing, Remus continued on and climbed the steps of the bank but the whole time his mind was practically screaming at him, "That wasn't the right shade of pink!"

He walked up to a Goblin cashier, making his face settle in a neutral mask.

"I would like to make a withdrawal from my vault, sir," Remus asked the Goblin politely, sliding his key across the desk.

The Goblin stared at him for an uncomfortable second and then scrutinised his key. It passed the test and was given back to him quickly.

"Barchok shall bring you down, Mr. Lupin. Please wait over there while he finishes what he is doing."

Nodding slightly Remus moved over to the entrance to the vaults and waited patiently. The Goblin who Barchok had indicated was busy writing something down in a massive ledger like book. Emus let his gaze wonder around the inside of the bank. Gringotts had always fascinated him. The marble floors, the rows of Goblins, the many locked doors, the library-like silence...

He heard the door to the bank open, it wasn't completely silent, and heard someone step in. Remus looked over, not really curious to who else was in but it was a reflex action.

As his eye fell on the small woman his whole body froze. It was her, Nymphadora. Why was she here? Why did she have to be here on the rare day that he came in? His eyes followed her as she made her way towards a till. She obviously hadn't seen him yet. He drank in the sight of her; her faded pink hair (Why wasn't it bright?), her torn jeans and white shirt with a writing across it covered by dark blue robes. She wasn't at work today then, he wondered why.

Suddenly she lost her footing and skidded across the shiny marble floor. Remus didn't move to help, though he yearned to, he couldn't let her see him. Remus backed away, ensuring that he was hidden.

"Sorry," she apologised to the goblin that she had knocked down. "God, I really didn't mean to! Sorry, sorry, let me help you!"

The poor Goblin who had been sent sprawling sneered at her, "No, I would rather you didn't" and gathered up his fallen papers.

Nympha-Tonks was left there, looking a bit confused but picked herself up and looked around. For a moment Remus thought she had seen him but she walked towards the till as if nothing had happened.

"Would I be able to visit my vault?" she asked the Goblin, it was easy to hear her, Nymphadora had always been a bit loud.

Remus tore his eyes away from her; there was absolutely no point in longing for what he simply couldn't have. In his thoughts Remus had completely missed the small conversation between Tonks and the goblin so he didn't notice that she had been brought over to him with a goblin until he smelt her scent; berries, vanilla and blood also ashes for some reason today.

"I will be bringing you both to your respective vaults today, sir and miss," a young goblin told them (well, Remus was assuming it was a young goblin, he was less wrinkled and smaller than the others).

Remus gulped inaudibly when he realised that he'd have to spend his whole time in Gringotts in close proximity to Nymphadora. What was he supposed to do? Should he leave now?

"Right this way," the goblin said, leading them into a vault.

He allowed Nymphadora to clamber in first, unwilling to look at her as it was too intoxicating to even breathe in her scent...

He got in behind her, focusing on the inside of the cart rather than looking at her. The cart took off bringing the three of them into the depths of Gringotts, together.

Oh shit, what now?


	8. So Close

**AN: The idea for this chapter was given to me by my good friend Cury Wurly Me, enjoy!**

**On another note... my GCSE results come this Thursday! –looks nervous-**

Tonks had been having a rotten day so far. Actually, it had all started the night before because of that bloody effing moon. She still hadn't got out of the habit of being an insomniac during the period of the full moon. She was too worried. Yes, Tonks knew that Remus had the wolfsbane thanks to Snape and she also knew that Remus had torn her heart in two only a week or so ago but that didn't stop the concern. Tonks knew that Padfoot wouldn't be there to keep him company.

Then her hair stubbornly refused to any bright colour. Even when she tried fluorescent yellow it came out dull no matter how hard she concentrated. She had finally settled on dull pink hair, reasoning that pink was still suitably bright enough for her, whether it was a dull shade or not.

She had gone to work, hoping that it would be normal, only to discover that Emmeline had been murdered, brutally by Voldemort. It was so public that even the muggles were aware of her death. Tonks had cried in her cubicle upon hearing the news and Kingsley had comforted her, his voice hoarse from his earlier grief.

Then Kingsley had informed her that he was guarding the Muggle Prime Minister from tomorrow for the duration of the war. She felt a pang at that but was resigned to the whole ordeal. It had been planned for a while now but that didn't stop the feeling of loss for another one of her few friends.

Tonks had been sent in as part of the 'cleanup crew' for Emmeline's murder, that's why she had ash and dust all over her. The room where it had happened was practically blown to smithereens.

That entire team of Junior Aurors had been granted a half day because of emotional trauma which they would not have suffered from if the stupid Ministry had had the thought to remove Emmeline's body. She shuddered at the memory.

She had looked up to Emmeline being so sarcastic and humorous, having a sharp yet caring tongue. Now, she was gone because Voldemort wanted her to be.

In an attempt to shake away what happened today, Tonks decided to use her half day to see what she had inherited from Sirius.

She had walked out of the Leaky Cauldron and into Diagon Alley brushing soot off the dark blue robes she had changed into. Grumbling at the floo system, stupidly placed chairs and glasses she made her way quickly to the proud, majestic building that was Gringotts. Tonks had caught a glimpse of Remus, looking haggard, in front of her and took a quick detour down Horizontal Lane, not really wanting to see him. This lane also would bring her to Gringotts, though it was longer.

Now after all that bother to avoid him she was sharing a bloody Gringotts cart with him. Bloody perfect. They whizzed through the caverns of the bank, passing by numerous vaults. They sank deeper and deeper underground and Tonks thought, avoiding contact with both the Goblin and Remus.

How funny, that technically there were three magical creatures in this cart. Technically she was considered to be a human but a lot of people viewed shape-shifters as creatures, giving them almost the same status as werewolves.

Was Remus going to talk to her? Or, should she start a conversation. Tonks looked across at Remus who was staring straight ahead, how his eyes could withstand all the wind and probably dust she did not know.

He was tired looking and worn out, Tonks observed quietly. He really shouldn't be out but she didn't know where she stood with him any more so should she tell him-?

"Vault 548, Mr. Lupin's Vault," the little Goblin informed them.

She moved back to allow Remus to exit the cart, he passed her without a glance and her heart felt like it had been twisted. Would it hurt him to even look her in the eyes?

For the sake of politeness, she did not peer into his vault or even watch him. Instead Tonks turned her eyes so she could look down into the creepy depths of the bank.

Down there was where all the old families vaults were. The deeper you went in the older your family was. Then she looked forwards, up where the higher levels were and where her vault was situated.

Call it creepy or depressing but at the minute where her vault and his vault were situated signified something to her. Remus' was further underground, in a darker area than hers, hinting the darker side of his nature while she was nearer the top, nearer the light but not quite at it. Tonks shook her head, trying to rid herself of these deep thoughts.

Remus had returned to the cart without her realising it. They were close to each other, which at one point she would have welcomed but now she longed for it. He was so close to her that she could breathe in his scent of parchment, sandalwood, chocolate and the scent you would find in a second hand clothes shop. He didn't move. Neither did she.

The cart jerked forward and travelled upwards at a fast pace. She had always loved these cart rides, her mother thought her mad and her father laughed along with her, both of them saying that the only thing better than travelling by Gringotts cart was riding a muggle rollercoaster.

"Vault 904," the Goblin, oh what was his name, announced.

She left the cart hurriedly, swinging her arm into Remus.

"Don't look up into those gorgeous eyes," she repeated inwardly, fighting off the rising heat in her cheeks. "Sorry," she said out loud, still not looking at him. He didn't reply.

Tonks entered her vault, which had decent sized columns of coins, her savings. She took a handful of sickles and knuts, stuffing them into her robe pocket and looked around for those photo albums. Spotting them in a front corner she went over to retrieve them, successfully knocking down a stack of knuts. Brilliant. They all tumbled to the floor, the metallic 'ding' echoing for all to hear.

She seized the precious albums and hugged the stack close to her chest as she pointedly ignored the tumbling coins. She wasn't embarrassed, she wasn't.

The journey back to the top was silent. The two of them parted from each other as soon as they could get out of the cart.

Tonks gazed mournfully after the retreating figure of Remus Lupin before she apparated herself straight into her apartment, not caring if she scared her muggle neighbours.

Tonks flung herself onto her bed and smothered her face in her pillow. She wouldn't let her day be any worse; she would just stay here and maybe look at the photos and write letters.


	9. Musings of a Slight Drunk

**AN: Sorry for the long wait between updates! I have recently returned to school as a sixth former and am still trying to get into the swing of things. All of my classes, even though I now only study four subjects, are more demanding so I may update sporadically for a while. (BTW For those who wish to know; I received 3 A*s, 6 A's and a B for my GCSEs! –happy dances-)**

Remus groaned loudly as his splitting headache got worse. It now felt like millions of tiny hammers were knocking away at his nerve-endings. Mind you, the headache was really his own fault but Remus really wasn't up to admitting that right now. All he wanted to do was sleep or throw up. Maybe both. But not in that order because that would be just plain awkward.

You really could tell that he was drunk; his thoughts were getting weirder and weirder. That was the last time he did a Sirius. He didn't want to be permanently like Sirius was for some long points last year; Remus couldn't hold nearly as much alcohol as his friend could.

His head fell against the wall which Remus had hoped, it his firewhiskey fogged mind, would ease the sore head. It didn't, obviously, as any sober person would tell you. He groaned again, only louder, hoping that someone would come and put him out of his misery. Maybe he could get Snape to do it. The man wouldn't take much persuading.

"Yesh, ol' Snivilly would do itsh," Remus mumbled, stumbling over to the kettle to make himself a cup of strong, strong coffee. He needed it badly.

As he was trying to get the kettle to work (what way round did the kettle go again?) an annoying scratchy, tapping noise came from... somewhere, Remus couldn't quite tell where.

"Shuddup." He tried to yell, only to wince in pain. He really shouldn't do that.

Something suddenly screeched making Remus moan and clutch at his head, no more Firewhiskey for him, ever. It just wasn't worth the headache.

He looked across the room, squinting in the fading daylight. It was an owl. Oh. That's where all the noise came from. It was a very pissed off looking owl, Remus slowly noticed in his drunken stupor. He should probably open the window to let it in.

It took a few seconds for that thought to actually register with his brain. He stumbled over to the window, tripping over his feet more times than even Nymphadora would, and fumbled with the catch.

After a moment of prising at it and swearing colourfully in Italian, Remus finally got the dratted window open. The owl hopped in glaring at him. He maturely pulled a face at it in response, hey, alcohol made him feel childish, don't blame him for anything that happened when he drunk it!

Remus peered at the owl with bleary vision. It hooted angrily and hit him with a powerful tawny wing. Rubbing his shoulder, Remus looked at the owl's legs where he thought he remembered that that was where packages were normally tied. He was correct.

It looked to be a copy of the Daily Prophet, but wasn't it the evening? Why would his copy of the newspaper come in the evening? From Remus' third year in school he had always got the Morning Daily Prophet.

Oh, wait. He was thirty...something. He was now living in the _Second War. _It still didn't explain the Evening Prophet. Or did it? Remus rubbed his head, all this thinking made his head hurt. Remus chuckled, that was a lot of alliteration.

Oh yeah, he now got the Evening Prophet just in case anything happened during the day that he should know about instead of waiting until the next day.

With clumsy fingers he relieved the owl of its burden, the fact that the owl continuously pecked his had didn't help, and unravelled the newspaper.

'Head of DMLE Murdered by You-Know-Who!' announced the headline in bold letters.

Who was the Head of the BMLE again? May something, no Amy, was it? Amelia! That was it, Amelia Burns? Definitely not. He'd call her Amelia B until he was sober enough to remember.

Taking a big gulp of coffee to clear his head, Remus' eyes scanned the page for some facts among the guaranteed fiction.

He sighed happily as he could feel the coffee kicking in; Remus had laced it with three tablespoons of Hangover Draught which tasted horrible but worked wonders. Unfortunately he couldn't take a bigger dose, which would totally expel the alcohol from his system, because you could only take a maximum of three tablespoons every hour for twelve hours.

Remus gasped as he read the paper. 'Amelia Bones, Brilliant Head of DMLE, was brutally murdered this morning by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named... obviously fought bravely, house a mess... locked from the inside...muggles are beginning to notice.'

This was bad, this was very bad. Heads of Departments didn't get murdered in the last War. Yes, a few second-in-commands and a fair amount of high up workers but never a Department Head. Oh Merlin, they needed help. The Order didn't have enough people and the Auror Department had a slashed budget thanks to Fudge according to Dor-Kingsley. There weren't going to be enough trained fighters!

Urgh, alcohol and panic did not ix well at all.

There was going to be an Order Meeting soon, especially after Emmeline and now Amelia. Everyone will miss Emmeline, he knew that he did. She had such a dry sense of humour and was always telling the Marauders off for something but, like Minerva, she loved them really. She was intelligent and could be gentle. Everyone knew that she had a crush on Snape.

The only reason that there was no meeting after Emmeline's death was because all departments were in complete chaos. People were leaving the Ministry left and right so they wouldn't be Voldemort's next target.

A silvery patronus flew through the window, it was a tabby cat.

"Burrow, seven. Full meeting." Minerva's voice told him

He cast his own wo-wait that wasn't a wolf. A great gambolling Labrador that looked familiar to Sirius' animagus form at a glance faced him.

Remus frowned and incanted, "Expecto Patronum" again only to be met with that playful dog again!

That can't be right...that was Nymphadora's patronus. His was a wolf, even though he didn't feel protected by wolves, it was his bite that did that. The wolf side of him felt safe as a pack, hence the wolf patronus. The only reason that his patronus would have changed to hers was because of an emotional upheaval that had something to do with her, which was true.

His heart was in pieces because he knew that he couldn't be with her, won't be with because he was far too dangerous. Maybe after the War...no, he was too old, too poor, worthless to everyone without a War.

It didn't stop very being from hurting like the Cruciatus had been cast on it over and over again. Common sense never stopped the pain.

He called his temperamental owl, Summanus, over to him. James had named him that because this owl was definitely not a morning bird and always was at his most active just before dawn which annoyed the hell out of the Marauders.

There was no way he was going to send his-that patronus to Minerva or anyone in the order. His crabby owl would have to do for any further communications.


	10. All forms of prejudice

Tonks apparated with a loud 'pop'. She was louder than usual because she had just had a crying fit. It was going to be her first Order Meeting since Sirius' death and it had just hit her that Sirius wouldn't be there. She made her way to the Burrow's inviting front door.

'Rap' 'rap'

She almost jumped out of her skin at the sudden noise in the silence. Whirling around with her wand out, Tonks' eyes searched the area for any immediate threat. Finding none, she slipped her wand back into her wand holster that she had strapped to her left calf but still looked around warily. Tonks had been trained by Mad-Eye after all.

She saw something flickering in the window. It was Molly waving a cloth at her. Tonks chuckled at herself for being so paranoid.

Molly bustled out of sight and flung open the front door, herding Tonks in. Tonks smiled. The Burrow could always cheer her up; it was so homey, loud and always had the most delicious smells wafting about.

"Come in, dear, you're early" Molly clucked and soon Tonks found herself sitting down in the kitchen with a cup of steaming tea in her hands.

She was early, Tonks had been hoping to get a hold of Remus and ask him what the hell he had done but he wasn't here it appeared.

"How're you keeping," she asked.

"Great, I expect you've heard the news?" Molly enquired, buzzing about the kitchen restlessly.

Tonks thought before answering carefully, "About Bill and Fleur?"

Molly pursed her lips and frowned slightly, "Yes, a bit rushed but obviously it's up to them."

It took Tonks quite a bit of effort not to roll her eyes. Molly could be so controlling with her children.

"But," the woman continued, "There's even better news. Arthur got promoted!"

"Really? That's brilliant Molly!" exclaimed Tonks, her hair slowly turning pink. That was odd, normally when her emotions controlled her morphing the change was almost instant. Anyway, she felt really happy for the Weasleys. It was about time that Arthur got some recognition. "What's he doing now?"

Molly drew herself up, "He's the Head of the Office for the Detection and Confiscation of Counterfeit Defensive Spells and Defensive Objects."

Wow, that was a long title. Before Tonks could answer; Ginny, Ron, the twins and Charlie had burst through the back door with Fleur trailing along behind them.

"Tonks!" squealed Ginny in greeting, bouncing over to her and engulfing her in a hug.

"Good to see you," Tonks replied, returning the hug.

"Do I not get a hug too?" asked Charlie childishly.

"No," Tonks retorted, waving at Ron and ignoring Charlie.

Ron gave her a double take before nodding and then promptly left the room, avoiding all the females.

Ginny looked at her critically, "Going for normal colours today?"

Confused, Tonks pulled down a lock of her hair only to see mousey brown instead of yellow and pink. Why did this keep happening to her?

"Salut, Tonkz," greeted Fleur, her face brightening.

Tonks replied automatically, "Salut, ca va?"

"Je suis bien, et toi?" responded Fleur

"Bonne,"

Fleur grinned at her, "eet haz been zo long since I have 'eard French spoken to moi. Eet is nice."

"Glad to have helped."

Molly interrupted by saying, "Ginny, tidy your room, it's worse than Ron's."

Ginny replied indignantly, "But I know where everything is!"

"Now."

Ginny huffed and stomped out of the room and upstairs. Molly then turned to Charlie.

"Please fetch some meat from the village, there's none in the house."

Charlie shrugged, "Sure, I'll buy. Want to come Tonks?"

Tonks shook her head, "Nah, I'll pass." Maybe Remus would be early.

Molly had already started on Fleur, "Dear, would you please collect the eggs? I want to make a cake."

"Sure," Fleur agreed, not looking very happy but made her way towards the door.

"I'll help," added Tonks, springing up from her chair. "I want to chat with Fleur."

Molly looked dubiously at her.

"Fleur will carry the eggs," she assured the woman and Molly's faced relaxed instantly.

The two young women soon found themselves among the chickens, searching for eggs. Tonks almost fell on one, after an unlucky stumble over a clump of dirt.

It was a gorgeous afternoon with no clouds and the orange/yellow light of the sun warming the bricks of the Burrow.

"Zere iz nuzzin to do 'ere," announced Fleur, gathering three eggs and shooed away a crowd of chickens. "Unless you like chickens and gnomes."

"There's Quidditch," Tonks suggested. "A Weasley is always up for a game."

Fleur scrunched up her nose, "I prefer commentating. I was zee commentator at Beuxbatons."

"Did any of your friends stay in England?" Tonks questioned, she'd hate to breathe alone in a foreign country.

"Non, zey didn't want to get involved with English affairs."

"So you're on your own?"

Fleur shrugged, "I wasn't close to zem. Not many girls like me and boys act silly around me."

Tonks smiled empathetically, "I hear you."

They carried on searching for eggs in companionable silence, the sun heating them up.

"How are you getting on with the Weasleys?" asked Tonks, Fleur didn't look at home.

Fleur hesitated before speaking, "Ze twins, zey are very nice to me."

She hoped those idiots weren't planning to spring something on her.

"What about the rest of them?" she pressed, feeling nosy, it distracted her.

Fleur bit her lip and twirled a bit of blonde hair around her finger, "I hardly see Ronald et Ginny. I don't zink she likes me very much."

Tonks frowned, Ginny got along with most people, "Really?"

Looking upset, Fleur replied, "I zink she makes fun of me." That definitely didn't sound like Ginny.

"Well, not excusing her, you're taking her oldest brother, her role model, away from her. Maybe that's why?" Tonks told her friend after a moment's thought. "Ginny barely sees Bill as it is."

They sat down on the ground outside the chicken coop and Tonks wrapped her arm around the younger woman.

"What about Molly and Arthur?"

"Arthur iz very nice but works late most nights et Molly..."

"Seems to disprove of you because you're part human but becoming a part of the family anyway," finished Tonks.

"Yes! How do you know zat?" said Fleur incredulously.

Tonks smiled grimly, "I dated her second eldest for seven months. Molly acted frosty towards me when she thought we were too serious."

"Zat's 'orrible!" exclaimed Fleur.

Tonks shrugged, "She honestly has no true prejudice towards part humans. But when it comes to her sons, Molly gets all protective and is more likely to listen to stereotypes first and ask questions later."

"Zo she thinks zat I play with Bill's feelings for sex?" demanded Fleur.

Tonks bit back a laugh and confirmed, "Yes and that metamorphmagi use their abilities to shag any men for any wants."

Fleur looked looked really crestfallen and Tonks felt the need to try and cheer her up. "Once she gets to know you, she's fine."

Fleur sighed and stood up, "Will zat 'appen before or after ze wedding?"

Tonks found it impossible to answer that and they went back to the kitchen with a dozen eggs, feeling depressed.


	11. Skulking

Remus was standing, half hidden in the shadows of Knockturn Alley of which there were plenty. It was ten o'clock at night and the sun had set mere minutes ago and dusk was staring to settle. Basically, it was the prime time for the inhabitants to come out and 'play' as it were. He was careful not to allow the light of the moon to illuminate his face. There used to be days that he could do that but now, after his year of teaching at Hogwarts, his face was too well known. It would not be good to get caught by a Death Eater here. Remus shuddered at the thought of what they may do to him and no one would know.

Currently, he was just trying to gain any information he could happen to see, overhear, feel and smell, as usual. Recently the Alley had been buzzing with trade so it was quite easy to pick up stuff. Especially if you happened to walk past someone and had sensitive werewolf hearing that could make out the smallest of whispers.

All Remus had found out so far was that Voldemort was still pleased with himself for murdering Amelia Bones. Well, if the word of a fifteen year old boy talking about that his dad had said no one got cursed while at a meeting this time.

Everyone here seemed nervous, either Voldemort had visited here at an earlier point, was going to visit or someone else of equal fear status was arriving soon. Remus hoped it was the first one. Though the last one might not be too bad, depends who it was.

He slipped between 'Familiar Farm' and a dubious 'derelict' building that was once 'Midnight Moonshine' whatever the hell that was. Remus wasn't sure he even wanted to know but he could smell pain, terror and sex? He retched slightly, there really should be a map or a book on this place so he'd know which places to avoid outright. Who does that sort of thing for a sport anyway?

Remus' thoughts began to wander back to last night's Order Meeting. He had arrived just on time and thankfully the only empty seat was far away from Dora. Unfortunately, it was next to Severus. Well, that was uncomfortable. He had felt Dora's eyes boring into him all evening but he refused to look at her, refused to give in.

As soon as everyone had said their bit (and Dumbledore had said he was going to retrieve Harry soon, why hadn't he been brought to them this soon last year?) Remus had darted out, faster than Severus. He would probably get interrogated by Alastor at some point for that but it was worth it if Dora just accepted everything.

"Yes, I heard he's recruiting tonight," a dark man said with gleaming white teeth.

"So they're all gathering at the Glowing Dirt?" queried another.

The duo walked on; unaware that anyone had eavesdropped on their hissed conversation. Remus had frozen in the shadows.

Could it be Voldemort himself? But he never did things by himself if he could get others to do it for him. That and Voldemort would never step a foot in Knockturn, it was beneath him. Then who was it?

Unwilling, his feet followed the trickle of people who were all obviously going for the same reason, to watch the spectacle. This area was always eager for blood. They all gathered around a large, square area, lined with shacks and stalls. It was called the glowing dirt because this is where all fights were settled and where any announcements were made (of which there were barely any).

Remus had this feeling that he should be wary if what was happening because it couldn't be good if someone was recruiting in Knockturn. Mind you, the person wouldn't get many intelligent magical beings; this was the place you got thugs and 'half-breeds' from. Both of which could be more dangerous than skilled witches and wizards in their own right.

Remus shoved his way through the crowds of people, wanting to be nearer the front but not actually at the front. This way, he could see all which was going on but not get noticed.

"Watch it, bub," bellowed a half deaf, one eyed man with rotting teeth. The man could pass as a pirate in the Muggle world with his eye patch, missing teeth, stubbled chin and peg leg.

Finally he got a clear view of the arena. There was a crate on the centre, obviously where this recruiter was going to come and talk, and a group of ragged looking individuals waiting in a semi circle around it.

There was something familiar about these people. Remus edged closer, wanting to catch a scent of some sort. He pulled his hood up so shadows were cast across his face.

Breathing evenly through his nose Remus picked up the smell of pain, suffering and...

A ragged, hooded figure now stood on top of the provided crate. He (?) was wearing pitch black robes, not unlike the Death Eater ones, and exuded confidence.

"Welcome," he growled deeply. "I have come in the name of the Dark Lord,"

Remus shivered, this wasn't good and he should get out of here. But this could be something that the Order should know about, especially since it had something to do with Voldemort's plans. Why did that voice sound familiar?

"You," the man said to the people in the semi circle, "have been deemed worthy to enter the service of Darkness."

Remus snorted quietly but the man looked up, feral yellow eyes flickering around him. The man returned to his monologue.

"Now you have free reign on who you wish to inflict terror and pain on. You have permission to hunt, kill and change whoever you please. We are the Dark Lord's wolves!"

Remus gasped; a noise that was lost amidst the cheering and jeering. These were fellow werewolves now banding under the Dark Mark. No, no, no. That means the hooded figure was-

The man's hood lowered to reveal none other than Fenrir Greyback. The beast sniffed the air and was now staring straight at him.

"Remus Lupin," he growled, too low for anyone to hear but werewolves.

Oh shit


	12. Home for Once

Tonks rubbed her temples, feeling a headache coming on. The lock of her hair hanging over her eyes was a deep red, but faded into a mousey brown as it neared the tips. Her hair was certainly reflecting her annoyed state. Stupid bloody Fudge, he may have been kicked out of the Office but his regime still left marks, particularly on the Auror Department. That bumbling fool had slashed their budget years ago and now that they were in the midst of a war it was causing panic.

Scrimgeour wanted regular patrols on Diagon Alley, Knockturn Alley, any wizarding area (such as Ottery St. Catchpole, Godric's Hollow) and people protecting Top Ministry officials and muggle ones. Then there was that plan for Hogsmeade and Hogwarts. They were too stretched! It didn't help that she was one of the last ever trainees to make it through the training. Snape's high standards for Potions and the lacklustre Defence teachers didn't help much. Merlin, it was a wonder there were any Aurors at all!

What she needed was a good dose of humour to cheer her up, she should go to Sirius-no, he was dead. How could Tonks forget that? She choked back a sob that had made its way up her throat. Tonks thought that her grief was over but it appears not, it just seemed to catch her when she was most emotionally vulnerable.

Rubbing her eyes Tonks thought what else may cheer her up, going to the Weasleys? No, she'd been over there too much, hoping to bump into Remus to talk some sense into him, Molly may start to suspect something. Maybe she should track sown Remus? But would Tonks get answers she wanted to hear? It probably wasn't a good thing to do that sort of thing when she was strung up anyway.

Sighing heavily, Tonks started to pack away her stuff and tidied her desk so she could see some wood. Not that it would stay like that until tomorrow morning but it was worth the try.

Apparating from the apparition point Tonks landed on her knees behind her parents' house. A figure stormed out the back door with a raised.

"Who's there? Declare yourselves!" demanded the voice of her father.

"It's me, dad. Nymphadora Andromeda Tonks, your daughter, metamorphmagus and I'm the only one who knows what happened with the cat, orange paint and the tweezers when I was nine..."

"That's enough of that," said Ted nervously as Andromeda came out of the house.

Tonks laughed softly as she picked herself up and hugged her parents. It was good to be with them again, she hadn't seen them enough.

"Staying for dinner, Nymphadora?" queried Andromeda, leading the way back inside.

"Of course," she replied easily, sitting on a chair in the kitchen. "Haven't seen you guys nearly enough."

Ted smiled, "I blame your work, the Order and your boyfriend. We should at least be far more important than him!" he teased

Thankfully her mum and dad didn't see her wince at the mention of Remus as Andromeda was slightly busy smacking her husband upside the head and scolding him.

"Honestly Theodore! Do you really expect a twenty three year old to spend time with her parents when she actually has a life?"

Ted pouted, "Yes,"

Andromeda sighed loudly in defeat and turned to her, "How have you been dear?"

Tonks thought carefully before answering that. She couldn't say what she honestly felt at the moment, not until she tried to talk some sense into Remus, but she didn't want to lie to her parents either.

Speaking of them, they were looking at her rather intently at the moment.

"Tired," Tonks replied eventually. "Work's piling up and the pressure is on the whole Department. The lists for the relocation go up soon."

Her dad looked worried as he listened to her.

"I'll be fine," she assured them. "Just haven't got used to the workload yet."

"If you say so Dora," said Ted ruefully.

The small family sat in silence as Andromeda busied herself with making tea and preventing Ted from stealing biscuits and Tonks from helping. There were pictures of them all through the years hanging on the walls and tasteful landscape picked by her mum. Tonks couldn't help but grin in contentment; she loved her odd, mismatched family.

They were soon settled with a plate of biscuits and a steaming pot of delicious tea. None of them talked for a while, nibbling on shortbread and digestives instead.

Ted broke the silence, "Dora, is there a reason for your dull hair colours?"

He cowered away as both Tonks women glared at him, "Not that that's a bad thing! It's just you normally are so bright that your mother is telling you to tone it down and you prefer bright colours saying it."

"Ted, stop. Before you dig yourself into a bigger whole with your amazing lack of tact." Said Andromeda tiredly and then looked at her, "But your father raises a good point-"

"Ha!" came the celebratory cry of her father; a Black glare quelled that quickly.

Andromeda continued like nothing out of the ordinary had happened, "Is something wrong?"

Tonks replied almost instantly, which in hindsight would probably bring more suspicion, "No, well apart from the war and stuff. I feel like I never get enough sleep."

Andromeda and Ted nodded together, not looking convinced but at least they'd let it pass for now.

"Speaking of the War," Tonks changed the subject swiftly, "you need the wards updated around this house. You could be a secondary target because of my Order status and well-"

"-Our pureblood bloodtraitor and mudblood thing going on," finished Ted calmly.

Tonks nodded, "I think you said that the house was well protected during the first war?"

Andromeda was the one to answer this time, "Because of my relatives, Bella in particular." Her mother had never gotten out of the habit of calling her sisters by their nicknames...

Tonks settled into her Auror mode automatically, "Well, I know you have dark magic detection, intruder detection, selective apparition and general protection wards but you need more offensive ones. That one that 'zaps' the death eater with some form of pure magic would work though it would take a fair amount of energy from us all-"

"You're not performing that one then," interrupted Ted. "You are tired enough as it is without us taking more energy from you."

this was going to be a long planning session.


	13. Awkward Arguing

It was dark. Really dark. He could see nothing. This was an odd sensation because, being a werewolf, he was used to seeing every little detail. Why couldn't he see anything?

His eyelids felt heavy and Remus felt as if none of the muscles there were working right. He became aware of a throbbing pain all over him. What had happened? Why couldn't he remember anything? Where the hell was he? It smelt clean and antiseptical (Remus was positive that that wasn't even a word but he was tired and sore, sue him!). Basically, it smelt like a hospital but he could also smell berries and soap?

Remus cracked open one eye and let out a groan when bright light hurt his eye.

"Oh, good. You're up," said Poppy, bustling over to him. After a couple of minute of being poked at a prodded he was finally deemed 'Okay' by her standards and then she promptly shoved a vile potion down his throat.

He was gagging as she called behind her, "You can come in, dear. Just don't over excite him."

Remus tried to crane his neck around to see who had come to see him but he soon found that it was far too painful. Poppy noticed his slight wince and handed another potion to him, he recognised it as the Pain-number, which wasn't the proper name but he was never that good at Potions.

The sound of footsteps caught his attention however the person refused to come in his line of vision. The person's scent was stronger now but for some reason he couldn't match up a scent with a person he knew.

"I'll just leave you two be," said Poppy, sounding oddly happy.

Once the nurse had bustled away Remus struggled to sit up a turn around to face this mystery person.

"Sorry," said the one voice he really didn't want to hear but also really did. A young woman with orange-brown hair nervously shuffled in front of him.

"Nymphadora." Remus said shortly, why did she come when he was at his most vulnerable?

"Hi," she greeted softly, moving so she was directly in front of him.

He knew that he should probably invite her to sit on the bed or something but he couldn't make himself do it. They would be sitting too close and Remus did not want to give Nymphadora the message that they were still close. He was still trying to get his brain and heart to accept it never mind convincing her!

"H-how are you?" she asked then stuttered out and looked at her feet. "N-never mind, Stupid question. Sorry."

Remus didn't make any indication that he'd been even listening to her. He continued staring straight ahead and slightly to the left of her. If he looked at her all his pathetic attempts at resistance would be futile.

"Um, have you been given an update on what's been happening while you- while the moon was full? Because there's been a lot. Of stuff happening that is. I didn't know that that amount of stuff could happen in a few days. Scrimgeour is Minister now, since Madame Bones is d-dead. It was funny watching Fudge getting chucked, literally, out of his office."

Remus struggled to contain a grin and couldn't help but notice that there was something lacking in Nymphadora's dialogue. Normally she was bubbly and really descriptive and familiar when speaking, well to him anyway. It could be recent events affecting her but then she would be more upset rather than nervous, right?

"-People are practically licking Dumbledore's pointy boots now, bit late huh?"

Oh, she was still talking.

"Why are you even here, Nymphadora?" he interrupted her monologue abruptly.

She didn't look as annoyed as he thought she would. There was no flash of anger for using her first name or a frankly pissed off look for interrupting. There was something else…

Nymphadora bit her lip. Normally this would be a sign of nerves in other people but Remus knew that she did that when she was thinking. Why should she have to think about an answer to such a simple question?

"Well?" he asked irritably. Remus just wanted to sleep and maybe down another potion for the dull ache that was getting worse again.

"Because I care," Nymphadora finally answered, looking right into his eyes. Hers were green today. Not the emerald colour of Lily's and Harry's eyes but a minty colour that would look odd on anyone else but her.

Angry at himself for still thinking of her like that Remus snapped, "Well you shouldn't."

"And why not?" she asked fiercely, her hair very slowly turning black and purple.

"What's the point?"

That stumped her. She stood there gaping at him, rather like that goldfish James and Sirius had proudly won at a Muggle Fair when they were fourteen. Remus wondered what happened to Flopsy the Fish; Sirius had done some experiments on it if he remembered correctly…

"What do you mean 'What's the point?' Of course people should worry about those they love! Especially if something happens to them!" Nymphadora informed him passionately.

Remus snorted making her glare at him.

"Nothing has happened to me," he told her sharply

"Besides ripping yourself apart on the full moon, yeah that's really nothing Remus," Nymphadora said sarcastically.

He shrugged, "It's not."

"Yes it is! Why don't you care about yourself?" Nymphadora was almost hysterical and all he truly wanted was to comfort her but he wouldn't.

Poppy suddenly stormed out of her office looking absolutely furious

"I thought I told you not to over excite him? Out! Out!" scolded the nurse, shooing Nymphadora out the door.

Nymphadora was struggling against Poppy, trying to get back to him. He resolutely turned away not knowing whether to be angry that Poppy interrupted them or glad for the interruption.

Remus heard the struggling stop and relaxed, hoping he could get some peace, but then Nymphadora's voice rang clearly throughout the white room.

"Don't think that I'm giving up Remus John Lupin!"


	14. Bad Luck

Huffing and puffing Tonks fell into her apartment and bashed her head off the skirting board.

"Ow," she muttered, fingering the side of her head.

Tonks inspected her fingers and discovered no blood present so she'd probably just receive a nasty bruise. That could be covered up by some simple morphing, though it seemed to drain her more now, especially after visiting Remus. What was happening to her?

Shrugging her shoulders in response to her own unspoken question Tonks scrambled up from the floor and headed towards the kitchen to get some tea. Tonks was positive that her slow morphing skills were the result of S-Sirius' death and Remus' bad timing. Stupid git. Both of them that is.

She thumped the kettle back down on its stand a little heavier than she should have. Water splashed everywhere, soaking her white top. Bloody Hell! Could nothing go right today? Casting a quick drying charm Tonks continued her internal rant.

Stupid Remus. Her mug was banged onto the table. Stupid Ministry. She rattled impatiently through her cupboards looking for the tea bag. Stupid Voldy. Tonks sloshed boiling hot water into her bright purple cup with orange polka dots (it rivalled some of Dumbledore's robes!). Thankfully not of it was spilt. She did not need to be scalded on top of everything.

Today the lists had gone up for which Junior Aurors would be going where. Thankfully she wasn't on Azkaban duty. She was guarding Hogsmeade and Hogwarts with three others in her 'team'. There were two teams of four doing this job as it was an important area.

She was in a team with Joseph Proudfoot, who she knew was a decent guy, Callum Savage and Lynne Hunter. The other team was made up of Jessica Juniper, Ethan Carmel, Zachary Stone and Abby Agnew. They were going to have all sorts of meetings over the summer to work out rotas and guard duty and stuff.

"This will take up a lot of paperwork," Tonks thought ruefully.

She was just glad that she wasn't shoved in with Dawlish. She hated that slimy git as she was sure she had said so before. He was just annoying and stupid and creepy.

She was also very glad that she wasn't patrolling the Muggle world or else she'd have to fix up the giant's mess and she really didn't want to see any more guts and gore.

To top it all off there was another Order Meeting tonight. Fun. Well, it could be interesting. Snape may have more news on Old Voldy but there honestly wasn't much to do. Except with the werewolf community but Tonks would rather not think about that.

Good thing they didn't have to guard the Prophecy anymore or else she'd never get a break. Tonks wondered if Dumbledore would actually tell the Order what the Prophecy was about, obviously it was important if they were guarding it all last year.

Tonks took a gulp of tea and checked her watch. She almost spat the hot liquid out in surprise. The Order Meeting was in ten minutes! She darted out of her kitchen and grabbed her coat while dashing out of her flat. A hasty apparition later (and a quick check to make sure she had all her body parts) Tonks arrived at the Burrow.

Snape walked right past her sneering, "Planning on making a grand entrance, Nymphadora?"

"Va te faire foutre, enculé," she muttered, picking herself up and following the greasy git into the Burrow.

He glared at her, not fully understanding what she said but assuming it was an insult. She really wasn't in the mood for him today.

She entered the now rather cramped kitchen of the Burrow and quickly scanned the room for Remus Lupin. Tonks found him squeezed between Sturgis, Kingsley and Bill even though there was more room nearer the door.

Sighing softly, she leaned against the kitchen counter and waited for the meeting to begin. She would talk to him after; there was no need to cause a scene, yet.

"Order, order," intoned Dumbledore, chuckling slightly as everyone else groaned. That really wasn't funny.

"Severus has a report to make," the bearded man told them.

Snape stood up and said in his sneering voice, "The Dark Lord will be laying low for an indefinite period of time as he is quite pleased with the havoc he has created in this week alone. Be warned that he probably will be plotting during this time."

"So we should strengthen all wards where possible?" interrupted Hestia

Snape glared at her but nodded.

Dumbledore nodded towards Remus, who got to his feet. She didn't know he was giving a report tonight; then again the two of them hadn't exactly been hanging around each other as of late.

"Greyback's recruiting is successful." He informed them all bluntly. "Especially with those rumours of more repressive laws for half breeds. I assume that vampires would be the same."

Fleur piped up from her chair, "I 'ave heard from my grandmuzzer that Veela are staying neutral in zis war. They refuse to come to the aide of either side."

Tonks locked eyes with Remus as he sat down, refusing to look away when his gorgeous eyes slanted into a glare. He wouldn't win. She was right, he was wrong. Why couldn't he just accept that?

"...And so, Molly, Harry will be coming over in a few days. Most likely late at night, for safety precautions." said Dumbledore

Shit, she forgot about the meeting. That probably wasn't a good thing.

Molly beamed, "That's excellent, Ron will be so pleased!"

So would Ginny

"Miss Granger will most likely be arriving around the same time. I must ask her parents." Continued Dumbledore thoughtfully. "Meeting adjourned."

Everyone who wasn't a Weasley promptly left, the cracks of apparition filling the air. Tonks tried to grab a hold of Remus but he dodged out of her way and vanished.

Tonks swore and kicked at a rock and saw Molly eyeing her curiously.

**AN: Guess what Tonks said to Snape! First person to guess correctly gets a sneak preview of the next chapter!**


	15. Sign here and here

Remus was, against his sanely minded will, being held captive by two red haired demons. His insanely minded will on the other hand was having so much fun that the creative side of his brain was working overtime.

"Please, Professor!" begged George, looking slightly constipated instead of desperate.

"We need you!" added Fred, with an identical look on his face.

Remus shook his head slowly with a small smile crawling onto his face. "Boys, as your ex-Professor I really can't be doing this sort of thing..." he let the sentence dangle and hoped one of them would get the hint.

Both boys' faces fell in disappointment and pouted mournfully at him. He almost chuckled but Remus didn't dare break his straight face, that wouldn't be any fun at all would it?

"Betrayer to the cause!" exclaimed Fred dramatically pointing his finger at him.

George added the dramatic effect by collapsing in fake horror. It was sort of ruined by the "owww" when his head connected with the stone floor. That had to hurt, the stupid idiot.

Ginny wandered into the kitchen and grabbed a biscuit from the counter.

"Hey nitwits, Professor!" greeted Ginny walking over to the still on the floor George and prodded him with her toe. "What's up with him?"

George bounced up with a silly wide grin plastered across his face. "Nothing my dear Freckles!"

Ginny scowled and kicked him on the shin.

Fred lifted the smaller girl up and twirled her around then put her down. She wobbled around, dreadfully unbalanced and almost fell over but he put a steadying hand on her shoulder.

"Thanks, Prof," Ginny said, smiling thankfully at him and glaring at the Twins. "I'll get you for that," she hissed and stomped out into the garden.

Fred and George struck a mock defensive pose as she stormed past them.

He rolled his eyes at the two mischief maker extraordinaires but he was a little disappointed. Remus thought that these two would have picked up that massive hint he told them.

"Use your brains boys and you may get your preferred answer," Remus informed them

The identical monsters of all things lawful fell silent as they mulled what he said over in their heads. Remus was surprised he couldn't hear the cogs of their brain working faster.

In the temporary lull in the conversation Molly bustled into the Burrow's kitchen and smiled at the three of them.

"Ah, Remus! I thought I missed you. You must stay for dinner," Molly told him rather than asked.

"Molly, it's fine. I-"

"Probably have nothing better to do," she finished for him.

"But-"

Molly stubbornly shook her head, "No buts Remus Lupin. You need all the strength you can get and you won't get any if you go off by yourself for long and unnecessary hours."

Remus gave up; there was no stopping red headed woman when they had their teeth sunk into something. He hoped that Harry realised this when he eventually asked Ginny out. Remus wasn't blind. He saw how easily they both talked to each other last year and how Ginny was the only person that brought Harry out of his moods.

Molly smiled gratefully at him, "Good. We're having chicken pie. Do you mind if I invite Tonks as well?" she asked with a glint in her eye.

Remus refused to look at her and rubbed the back of his neck.

"It's up to you, Molly. It is your house," he told her nervously. Had she noticed something?

Molly smiled sweetly at him and abruptly left the room. What in the name of the unknown mess under Padfoot's dorm bed was that all about? How much did she suspect or know? This was when Remus wished that he had studied the mind arts more thoroughly.

"Ah ha!" called Fred, who apparently didn't hear any of Molly's speech

"We've got it!"

"Oh great and wonderful Moony," they said as one, "Will you do us the honour of being our consultant?"

Remus grinned and rolled his eyes, "My name would have done just fine."

The twins looked hopefully at him.

"So you'll take it?" asked George

Remus hesitated.

"We would pay you!" Fred assured him.

"Or give you part of the shop!" added George happily

He shook his head. "I'm not after the money, boys." He told them. "And definitely don't be doing that!"

"Why ever not?" queried George. "You'd earn it with any ideas or help you give. Harry owns ten percent 'cause he funded us and gives us the odd idea..."

Remus took a deep breath. He would love having that job and having some sort of income but he couldn't, it wouldn't be right.

"Wait, Harry gave you the start up money?" he asked in surprise

Fred nodded distractedly, "Yes. Gave us he's Triwizard Winnings, the idiot. Said it was blood money and the world could do with a few more laughs."

Remus was gobsmacked. Sirius and James would've been so proud of Harry funding a prank shop. Although he shuddered at the thought of Lily's reaction if she knew just how he got those winnings. Dumbledore and any other TriWizard official would have been burnt to a crisp slowly and painfully.

Painfully pushing away his thoughts of his dead friends Remus made his excuses to the Twins.

"I'm going to the werewolf camp soon. I can't contact anyone so I'll hardly be of any help."

George snorted, "You gave us plenty of help with just our Christmas present last year so you're hired."

"But"

"You need to sign here," Fred said, handing him a neon yellow and pink quill and pointing towards a contract.

"Boys"

"Initials here, too," added George helpfully

"I can't-"

"Have you read this fine print?" asked Fred, pointing to some tiny writing on the parchment.

"What?" Remus read over it. "I can't let you do this."

"Make sure that it's your full name," said George

"Just do it!" they chorused so he did.

Merlin, what has he just gotten himself into?


	16. Teenage Drama

This was the most awkward dinner she'd ever been at. Tonks was sitting opposite Remus Lupin surrounded by Weasleys and Hermione. She was sitting between Ginny and Ron. Great, one of them was chattering away to her and the other was trying to eat three times his body weight or goggle at Fleur. Tonks was doing a pretty good job at avoiding looking at Remus. She pretended to listen to Ginny (really keeping an ear open to see if Remus said anything) and tried to converse with Fleur at the bottom of the table..

Ginny nudged her sharply with her elbow.

"Ouch!" Tonks hissed, glaring slightly at the girl who looked unfazed

"Mum wants you."

Tonks looked sheepishly at Molly. "Sorry, Molly," she apologised.

Molly smiled at her. "It's fine. Everyone gets lost in thoughts at some point or another." Molly's eyes flickered between her and Remus.

She forced a smile onto her face, "Yeah, what were you saying?"

"Oh, I was wondering how things were going in the Ministry?"

"Just overworking everyone, as always," was Tonks' quick reply.

She stayed silent for the rest of the meal. Molly's frequent stares were piercing and made her uncomfortable. Tonks tried to converse with Fleur but the Veela was all over Bill in a rather sickening fashion. If Tonks didn't know Fleur she would get the impression that Fleur was a shallow girl who loved attention but Tonks' Auror training noticed Fleur's nervous glances at Molly, shaky voice and stiff hand movements. Molly wasn't giving her a chance.

Molly was obviously done making none to subtle questions about her and Remus and asked a direct question.

"Have you two been doing anything?" the red haired woman asked, looking at her and Remus.

Tonks immediately started playing with her napkin, folding it into smaller shapes. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Remus stiffen and stare stonily at a point just next to Molly's head.

Neither of them answered. After a while this fact became apparent to the rest of the table and everyone was silent as well. They were all staring at them. Dammit, Remus, just say something!

"Um-" Tonks began but Remus interrupted in a harsh voice.

"I have to get going, I must get something done for Albus," he jumped out of his chair and sparing a glance at the clock, refusing to look at anyone.

"He's coming with Harry later," said Molly.

Remus shook his head and excused himself, hastily walking towards the back door. "Thank you for the meal, Molly."

"No problem, Remus," Molly replied, her eyes focusing on him in a disapproving way.

"Any more food, mum?" asked Ron, obviously unaware of the tension around him.

Molly's stance relaxed and she smiled at her youngest son. Remus took this as his chance to vanish, leaving Tonks to stare at the place where he exited.

Bill and Fleur soon left off to do who knows what which Tonks was sure she didn't want to know. Ginny skipped out of the room, dragging Hermione with her. Ron followed them more sedately

"That was a lovely meal, Molly," Tonks complimented while standing up.

Molly smiled at her then told her, "Sit down, what is going on between you and Remus?"

Nothing got past Molly Weasley.

"Nothing," Tonks replied glumly.

Molly snorted. "That doesn't work on me. There has to be a reason why you aren't as bright as normal."

"Remus is being an idiot," Tonks said softly.

Molly patted her shoulder sympathetically and busied herself by making tea. She set one mug down in front of her and Tonks took a large gulp of it, trying to settle herself.

"There must be more to it than that. According to you and Siri-" Molly broke off noticing the tears in her eyes. "Well. He was always being an idiot?"

Tonks blinked away her tears and nodded. "Yeah. But this is different."

"How?" prompted Molly gently.

Tonks bit her lip. Should she tell Molly any of it? It was sort of private and she doubted Remus would want this spread around. But she couldn't talk to her parents. They would murder him.

The minutes ticked on a Tonks could tell that Molly was getting more and more curious.

"He finished it between us. It's over," she finally admitted.

That was a shock to Molly as her tea was suddenly sprayed onto the wall.

"What?"

That simple question broke the dam inside her. Tonks told Molly everything from when that awful day to tonight. She must have broken down crying at some point because Molly was now pressing a handkerchief into her hands and hugging her.

"Sorry," she managed between sniffles.

"It's okay to cry," Molly assured her. "But by the sounds of it someone should be giving that man a good kick up the-"

"Molly!" exclaimed Tonks in amazement. "And you tell me off for my language?"

"Well, he does," Molly defended.

"I'm not denying it. But he won't listen to me and he's only doing this 'cause he's a noble prat and he's trying to keep me safe but he doesn't get it at all," babbled Tonks desperately.

"Calm down, Tonks. Deep breaths," encouraged Molly, like you would a toddler.

She eventually composed herself, her face firmly in her hands.

"What do I do?" Tonks pleaded

Molly looked thoughtful. "By the sounds of it, you can't really do anything right now. All you can do is see how you both cope apart. I'm sure he'll realise that he can't live without you."

Tonks blushed and muttered, "But this is Remus we're talking about. He's far too stubborn to pull his own head out of his ass."

Molly just smiled. "Then you'll have to help him, won't you?"

"How am I supposed to do that? He doesn't even want to see me."

Molly patted her arm. "I wouldn't be so sure of that. You're as stubborn as your father, Tonks. Do what he did. Don't give up, if Remus is worth it everything will be right at the end."

Tonks scrunched up her nose in thought. Could this work? Could she do it? She looked up at the clock. It was half eleven! She hadn't even seen Molly getting her dressing gown on!

"Jesus, Molly! Why haven't you kicked me out yet?"

"Nymphadora Tonks, I am not sending you back to your lonely flat until I am certain you won't mope."

There was suddenly a rap on the door that starlted both of them. Molly ran to the door.

"**Who****'****s****there?****" **she demanded in a nervous voice. **"****Declare****yourself!****"**

"**It is I, Dumbledore, bringing Harry."**

Molly opened the door at once. **"****Harry, ****dear! ****Gracious, ****Albus, ****you ****gave ****me ****a ****fright, ****you ****said ****not ****to ****expect ****you ****until ****morning!****"**

"**We were lucky," said Dumbledore, ushering Harry over the threshold. "Slughorn proved much more persuadable than I had expected. Harry's doing, of course. Ah, hello, Nymphadora!"**

Great, Tonks did not need Dumbledore knowing she was a wreck.

**Harry ****looked ****around **and smiled at her with a flash of worry.

"**Hello, Professor," she said. "Wotcher, Harry."**

"**Hi, Tonks."**

"**I****'****d ****better ****be ****off,****" **Tonks saw her chance of escape, **standing ****up ****quickly ****and ****pulling ****her ****cloak ****around ****her ****shoulders.**** "****Thanks ****for ****the ****tea ****and ****sympathy, ****Molly.****"**

"**Please don't leave on my account," said Dumbledore courteously. "I cannot stay, I have urgent matters to discuss with Rufus Scrimgeour."**

"**No, ****no, ****I ****need ****to ****get ****going,****" ****said ****Tonks,****not ****meeting ****Dumbledore****'****s ****eyes, **she didn't want him to see her surface thoughts which were meant to be private**.**** "****Night-****"**

"**Dear, why not come to dinner at the weekend, Remus and Mad-Eyes are coming-?"**

That would be a disaster. **"****No, ****really, ****Molly...thanks ****anyway...goodnight ****everyone.****"**

**Tonks ****hurried ****past ****Dumbledore ****and ****Harry ****into ****the ****yard ****and **apparated away.


	17. Harry's Birthday

A few days later Remus found himself making his way to the Burrow yet again, although he had sworn not to go anywhere near it except for Order meetings. But today was different, it was Harry's sixteenth birthday and he was determined to be there for him, unlike the past decade or so.

Remus entered the Weasley residence via the apparition spot and strode toward the door only to be intercepted by none other than Harry, Hermione and Ron.

"Remus!" greeted Harry, his green eyes shining and his smile broadening.

He chuckled slightly, if only Harry knew how much he looked like his mother when he was in high spirits.

"Happy Birthday, Harry," was his reply and handed over a neatly wrapped gift.

Harry took a tight hold of it and his smile softened, "Thank you Remus. I'll open it later, but thanks."

The Last Marauder couldn't help but compare this solemn young man to the baby he knew that loved ripping up paper more than looking at the gifts. Even now Remus could tell from the look in Harry's eyes that the gift still didn't matter as much as the people who were around him.

"How are you, Professor?" inquired Hermione politely when it became apparent to her that Ron wasn't going to say anything.

"You don't have to call me 'Professor' anymore, Hermione. I haven't been your for two years. Unless you'd like me to call you Miss Granger?"

Hermione smiled and was about to reply but Ron interrupted, "You'll always be our Professor. You were the best one we ever had."

"Yeah, we're just waiting for the Board of Governors to get their heads out of their asses and let you back," chimed in Harry.

A pointed look was aimed at Harry for his language but smiled amiably at them all. "So, what's happening today?"

Harry shrugged, "I don't know. Mrs Weasley wouldn't let us help."

Hermione let out an exasperated breath, "That's because it's your birthday so you don't have to help out!"

"We're meant to keep him away from the house," added Ron looking at Remus. "Help?"

"Sure,"

The four of them spent the next hour or so walking around the Burrow's spacious grounds. Remus felt peaceful as he always did when he was outside. He wasn't sure if it was the wolf in him or not but he was glad of his love of nature. The Weasley's plants were fascinating, basically they were organised chaos.

He listened to Harry, Ron and Hermione talk, tease and bicker with one another. Remus really enjoyed spending time with these three; he did it last summer too with Padfoot and Nym-Tonks. It was easier to think of his fallen friend as Padfoot because that was how he referred to Sirius when Remus thought he had betrayed everyone. It was easier remembering a teenaged Sirius, when their lives were simpler.

Ron had grabbed a quaffle from somewhere and the four of them were chucking at each other in a weird game of catch mixed with dodge ball.

Remus' hearing picked up the sound of running feet before anyone else did. Ginny was running across to them.

"Everything's ready," she informed them and raced back to the house. Remus caught Harry staring at her and smirked slightly.

The kitchen was bursting with decorations; he suspected Ginny had more to do with that than Molly. Remus remembered that Ginny was as bad as Sirius when it came to decorations. The food was all Molly's though, it made his mouth water. Remus quickly glanced around to see if Tonks was there, just in case Molly invited her. She wasn't, he sighed with relief and ignored the lingering sense of disappointment in his gut.

Everyone, meaning Molly, Arthur, Bill, Fred, George, Fleur, Ron, Ginny, Hermione and he all broke into an extremely off key rendition of Happy Birthday to a slightly embarrassed Harry.

Then he suddenly remembered some information he had been asked to pass on.

"**There have been another couple of Dementor attacks," he announced as Molly passed him a large slice of birthday cake. "And they've found Igor Karkaroff's body in a shack up North. The Dark Mark had been set over it-well, frankly, I'm surprised he stayed alive for even a year after deserting the Death Eaters; Sirius' brother Regulus only managed a few days as far as I can remember."**

Sirius had been so distraught; Regulus was, after all, still his baby brother. Regulus must have been the only Black family member Tonks didn't meet.

"**Yes, well," said Molly, frowning, "perhaps we should talk about something diff-"**

Remus felt bad about bringing up reminders of the war at a birthday party. They were all meant to forget about it for one day

"**Did you hear about Florean Fortescue, Remus?" asked Bill, who was being plied with wine by Fleur. "The man who ran-"**

"**-the ice cream place in Diagon Alley?" Harry interrupted. "He used to give me free ice creams. What's happened to him?"**

"**Dragged off, by the look of his place."**

"**Why?" asked Ron, while Molly pointedly glared at Bill.**

"**Who knows? He must've upset them somehow. He was a good man, Florean."**

"**Talking of Diagon Alley," said Mr Weasley, "looks like Ollivander's gone too."**

"**The wand maker?" said Ginny, looking startled.**

"**That's the one. Shop's empty. No sign of a struggle. No one knows if he left voluntarily or was kidnapped."**

"**But wands-what'll people do for wands?"**

"**They'll make do with other makers," said Remus. "But Ollivanders was the best, and if the other side have got him it's not so good for us."**

He concealed a shudder as he thought of what Voldemort could do with a wand maker. There was no point in thinking of it. The Order may be able to save him, they had to try.

The rest of the day passed in high spirits. Harry was delighted with each of his gifts from the protective amulet Bill gave him (which was apparently the same one he gave all his brothers) to Hermione's guide to heroes which only the Trio seemed to get. Harry carefully peeled off the wrapping off his present and gasped when he saw it.

Remus had carved something for Harry, honestly not knowing what he could get him. It was a 3D model. The base was oval shaped and he had carved delicate trees bordering a quarter of it. In the centre there were a stag and a doe standing regally together. A wolf prowled nearby and a shaggy dog was curled up under the trees.

"It's amazing, Remus. Thank you." Breathed Harry, never taking his eyes off the figures.


	18. Can't help it, I'm in love

Okay, Tonks was pissed off, incredibly so. Remus bloody Lupin hadn't so much as looked at her the whole meeting. He had absolutely no right to do that! He should know her well enough that she would not let him leave her without a fight! Remus was one of the few people who she let in, who she became close to. He can't throw that back in her face!

Remus was leaving in two days so she had limited time to make this work; she had a plan, sort of. If only he would look at her!

"Nymphadora, have you any more to report?" Dumbledore asked her. Tonks suddenly became aware of all the eyes on her.

"Umm," she stuttered, standing up and tried to gather her thoughts. Tonks thought she saw Remus hide an affectionate smile. "About the forest fire up North last week. I quizzed some Muggles and magical witnesses. Muggles say they say a mad looking woman and the wizards claim they heard the incantation 'flamma formidonis' along with cackling."

"Flames of terror," whispered Bill, Tonks nodded affirmative. this fire spell was similar to the 'incendo' in result but there was an illusion part to it so the flames looked to jump higher than they actually were and produced a smell like burning rubber.

Mad Eye growled, "I hope you brought that witness in. How come he was close enough to hear what the spell used was? Did he not try to stop them? Was he an accomplice?"

Tonks rolled her eyes and shot her mentor an annoyed look. "You didn't train me up for nothing, Mad-Eye. _She _was brought in by yours truly and was questioned by Dawlish. We figured that she had nothing to do with the actual lighting of the forest but was more of a look out and knew what was going on. No Dark Mark. She's in a Ministry holding cell at the moment."

Dumbledore nodded at her and Tonks took that as her cue to sit down again, she had nothing more to report. The man was deep in thought.

"Severus, did you know anything of this?" Dumbledore asked mildly.

The dark man gave Dumbledore a pointed look. "No. The Dark Lord does not give such petty assignments out in the open. Most likely he gave it to someone not in the Inner Circle but high up in the Outer one to give to a new recruit as some sort of a test. A trial run you should say."

Tonks was half expecting Sirius' voice to add something along the lines of, "Yeah, because that's what you had to do, am I right?" but instead she heard;

"Is it possible that there may be more minor attacks like this?" Kingsley enquired in his deep voice

Snape nodded curtly and sat down, he obviously had nothing more to report.

Dumbledore shuffled some papers about in his pile of reports and then stood up. "I think that is all for today?" A quick piercing glance around the table reassured him of that. "Well, I think it is time to retire and not over stay our hospitality at the Weasleys."

Arthur protested, "It is honestly no bother, Albus."

"Oh, I must wish Remus good luck for his infiltration of the werewolf camp in Ireland in two days," Announced Dumbledore.

Tonks saw Remus blush and he muttered, "Albus..."

Dumbledore only smiled benignly and nodded his head in farewell before flooing to Hogwarts. McGonagall and Snape were not far behind. Did that bloke live permanently in the dungeons or something?

That was basically the unspoken signal for unsociable or old people like Diggle, Dung and Abe Dumbledore (She knew him from visits to the Hog's Head in Hogwarts) to leave and everyone else to relax and have a chat.

Remus left the room, quickly side stepping the Twins and Lee Jordan who had called over to him. Tonks hastily followed, wanting to get this over and done with quickly but out of sight from prying eyes.

"Tonks!" called Ginny from the staircase but Tonks ignored her and continued to pursue the fast disappearing Remus. He can't just leave without saying anything to her, could he?

He had almost reached the apparition point before she grabbed hold of his strong, muscular arm.

"Remus," she pleaded softly. Remus tried to shake her off without looking at her but she was stubborn. "Remus," she repeated a little louder but still not loud enough for anyone else to hear.

"Stop this nonsense," he said in a warning tone.

"Can't I even say goodbye?" she demanded

"That's not what you were going to do, was it now?"

Tonks' temper flared. "Oh? So you know me so well that you know what I'm thing, huh? What does that tell you, Remus?"

"We can't be together, Tonks," he told her, so it was Tonks again, was it? "It wouldn't work out. It's far too dangerous."

"It worked for almost a year," Tonks hissed angrily, why was he making this so difficult?

"Six months three days," muttered Remus, probably thinking she couldn't hear.

"We were good friends for months before that! Why can't you see what's in front of you?" pleaded Tonks, eyes now shining with tears. She couldn't help but feel angry at herself for allowing Remus to make her feel so emotional, so dependent on him.

Remus glares at her and she recoils. "There is nothing there," he grits out. She opened her mouth to argue further but he raised a hand to stop her. "Go live your life as much as you possibly can because you more than anyone else I know deserve it. You deserve far better than me." And Remus apparated away into the darkness, taking pieces of her heart with her.

"And if I can't live without you?" she whispered into the night sky, the Dog Star looking dim in the midnight blue sky.

'Crack' she apparated away without a word but a single tear hung delicately from a long blade of grass poking up between the paving stones.


	19. Rain, wet, damp, eugh

**AN: I am so sorry for not updating like ANYTHING in ages, Real Life got in the way. And laziness and mega writers block then when I got over that all my scribbles and notes got 'tidied away' by my mum. So basically they don't exist anymore. But I am trying to catch up! So now I have about 6 chapters for you!**

Remus looked forlornly at his kitchen. He would miss being here, it may be a bit run down (he had no money to repair the magical parts properly) but it was home. His mother's and father's home as well, so it had plenty of sentimental value. Now he had to leave it, it was harder than Remus originally thought.

He didn't have any bittersweet memories like his birth house had, the one where he got bitten. This house was basically a tale of survival. From werewolf transformations, to rows, to the first war and now, well, now. But the tale was on pause for a bit. Remus was unsure whether he actually wanted to return here at all.

Yes, his suitcase was packed and the house was locked up but Remus couldn't bring himself to leave. It was his home after all and it was on the outskirts of Godric's Hollow, where his best friends used to live. There were so many memories here...too many. Maybe it would be best if he left. It wasn't like it was going to be forever. Well, he could die...

Shaking his head to clear it of all depressing thoughts (well, most of them. Some persisted in lingering around his mind) Remus grasped the handle of his suitcase determinedly and walked out of the house. He checked that the protective wards were up properly (Very basic ones, Sirius was always better at that sort of thing). Maybe he could get Nym-Ton-Kingsley to check on them once in a while. Not that anyone would actually want to attack it anyway.

One look at the small detached house and he apparated away, no second thoughts, like tearing off a plaster.

He appeared almost right on the edge of the sea. He was in Rhosneiger, Wales. He never liked the jump from South England to Ireland; thanks to his lycanthropy he could feel every twist and turn. So he was going to enjoy the view for a while, maybe pick up some driftwood for carving and then apparate to the pack. The fact that he was reluctant to start this mission quickly had no reason for the unnecessary lingering whatsoever. Nuh, uh.

The landscape of Wales was always pleasant. It made Remus feel relaxed and calmed him down. The Irish Sea was fascinating too, always on the offensive, crashing and rolling. If only he could draw, but he doubted any artist could capture it perfectly.

With his pockets full of shrunken driftwood and his nausea long gone, Remus prepared himself for the second to last part of his journey. Apparating to Ireland. Pack Credo had shifted location over the past year, moving further northeast, they were now in Northern Ireland.

It was now situated eight kilometres north of Kilkeel. Again, far enough from a village or town to prevent raising suspicion but near enough civilisation to get any supplies necessary.

First (or was it second?), he apparated to Glenageary in Ireland before apparating almost immediately to Kilkeel. All he saw was a blur of green, darker green and streaks of grey and brown. Yep, definitely got to the right place. This got everything over and done with and didn't allow for any procrastinations or dragging of feet. He was better off just getting it over and done with although he felt extremely dizzy and light headed.

After stumbling around for a good fifteen minutes (Remus swore that that elderly woman thought he was drunk and would have hit him over the head with her umbrella if he got close enough) and dry heaved for another ten, Remus was finally ready to hike it over to the camp. It was a nice day, he sun was shining and the air was so crisp and fresh.

CRACK SWOOSH

It was pouring. Bloody typical Irish weather. Didn't it know it was summer? Obviously not. Ardkirk looked like it would've been a nice place to look around in as well, pity. There was no way he was going to trek around aimlessly in the rain. Even Remus' infamous patience had its limits; he just hadn't reached it yet although this day was coming pretty damn close. Bah, he really did hate the rain. There was absolutely no point to it.

Right. Meaningless rant on the stupidity and annoyance of the universally known dampness referred to as rain. Sort of. Back to what was happening!

It was about midday now, he had been squelching around for about twenty minutes and he was hungry. Remus had been planning on picnicking at this point but he didn't really want to in the rain. Water repelling charms only did so much in torrential rain.

Just as soon as he thought that the rain stopped. Slowly but surely the clouds crept away and the sky was blue again, odd but typically Irish as he remembered Marlene saying proudly several times over the years.

The grass was so wet that it glittered in the sunlight.

"Hello there!" called some hikers making him jump and nearly slip.

There was about five of them bravely (In his opinion) facing the elements. They were wrapped up in light raincoats and had dependable boots on.

"Nice weather isn't it?" another said to him. "It's the best we've had so far."

"Causes some problems though," the only woman of the group informed him.

"Some poor sod fell onto the rocks last week." Added another. "Bit of an idiot to even try in the storm we had last week."

"Though it was a cracking one. The wee ones were terrified though."

Eventually the group moved past him, still chattering happily to one another.

"Nice talking to you!" the short one called back.

Remus couldn't help but smile and wave back. He'd forgotten how friendly everyone in Northern Ireland was*.

The camp was now on the South side of Slieve Binnian, at the foot. Only the odd mountaineer or hiker would come anywhere near it. It had moved so far north because of some clash with another pack, if Remus remembered correctly

Eventually Remus did reach the area the camp was rumoured to be in. Come on; it wasn't like registered dark creatures would advertise where they lived. He was wet and cold (it had rained again, twice!) and yearning for a mug of Molly's soup.

A rather ragged looking person suddenly appeared next to him and grabbed him by the throat.

Ah, this must be the place then. That or this was some random drunk which was totally possible. Good thing that basically nothing could freak him out anymore. Living eight to ten months of the year with James and Sirius tended to do that to you. Though, fluffy bunny sock still did give him the shivers every now and then.

"Who goes there?" he (the voice was low and gruff) demanded hoarsely, one long fingernail digging painfully in the base of his neck.

It wasn't a lethal hold (thankfully), but one to show who was in charge and it certainly wasn't him.

***This is honestly true, I swear. You will get people who will randomly start talking to you if you are sitting next to them on the bus and have a whole one sided conversation with you that some how ends up about talking about something completely unrelated to the starting point. All you need to do is look interested and they'll think that they've had a good conversation with you. And then we think everyone in England is antisocial because we do tend to say hi or smile at everyone we walk past and then get weird looks if we do that over there. Hey, what can I say? We're a very friendly country =)**


	20. Annoying, Stupid, Noble Idiot

Tonks paced up and down her cubicle. She hadn't done anything worthwhile all day and it was 1700! And you know whose fault it was? Remus bloody stupid idiot Lupin's! Yes, it was his fault that she was distracted all day and got yelled at by five different superiors for chucking her knife across the hall in frustration and swearing loudly at a petrified huddle of new recruits.

Well, at least she would not be assigned one of them to look after any time soon. Always look at the positives.

"_They're scared enough already," _Matthew had said tiredly, he'd just worked three straight night shifts and had to come in today to help with yet another Giant cleanup. She couldn't believe that the Prime Minister has to be informed. Poor man. Kingsley must be up to his eyeballs in work and questions. She'd bug him for all the juicy details later. Never let it be said that she was not a horrendous gossip.

But wait, enough about feeling sorry for anyone else. She had been in the middle of a self pity party before she'd gotten distracted. She'd blame Remus for that one too. Tonks had been very distracted ever since she met the damn man, never mind recently.

It was his fault that she couldn't sleep all night because she was trying to pretend _so damn bloody _hard that she was by his side instead of in her cold, lonely apartment.

She had been planning on apparating to his house and attempting to stop him with sheer brute force but she had her pride. Nymphadora Andromeda Tonks was NOT, repeat, NOT, going to get down on her hands and knees and beg Remus John Lupin to keep his scrawny ass in Britain. That would be demeaning. And hurt her knees.

Nope, nadda. Never. As N-O, no. Though, let's just pretend she didn't waste two hours apparating between her apartment and three streets over from his house last night trying to make up her mind if she should really do the whole begging thing.

Yeah, it didn't happen.

"Tonks...TONKS!" yelled Dawlish, stupid git.

"What?" she snapped, she was really not in the mood for this arrogant twerp of a man.

He gives her a disgusted look, obviously trying to imitate Snape's intimidating stance but he's shorter, stockier and him trying to do that lip curling sneer thing Snape does just makes him look like there's something wrong with his bowels. Tonks couldn't help but wonder if she'd get away with calling the medi-wizards about Dawlish's failing bowels, probably not. Wait, she was supposed to be listening to her slime ball of a 'superior'.

"If you must know," Dawlish says in a very snooty voice. "There have been updates to the 'Protection Squads' as you so put it. Pass the word along."

It really pissed him off if he talked to her too long, which she was thankful for. Must be a part of her charm. Repels nuisances. Wait, no it didn't or else she would have repelled most of her Hogwarts year. Pity.

"Do you know if it affects me?" she asks, honestly curious though part of her is gleeful that she gets to annoy him for a wee bit longer even if it is just to distract her.

"Hopefully on the opposite end of the country to me," he muttered and then swiftly left.

"You don't know then?" she called cheekily after him with a grin on her face. Annoying that man was just too easy. It cheered her up a bit too!

Now where was she? Oh yeah, pacing up and down her cubicle looking slightly maniacal and scaring trainees. All she needed was the insane cackling but she wasn't in the mood to imitate Bellabitch, ever.

Stupid effing werewolf. Too damned noble. She wanted to throttle him. Pity he was out of the country and Dumbledore wouldn't give her the location.

"_He is supposed to lay low, Nymphadora. You could owl him or send him a patronus if you wish but turning up in the middle of a werewolf camp won't do any good."_

Unfortunately Tonks could see the logic in this statement, didn't make it any less infuriating and she guessed that causing yet another scene would only make Remus even more stubborn. Did she really want to be that desperate anyway? She guessed not.

As her mother said, you can never let a man know that he's in charge; it makes him cocky and annoying. This was true, though Tonks thought that nothing could make Remus cocky, he was already annoying as she liked to inform him frequently. In a kind way, of course.

There were Aurors being assigned to; The Prime Minister's Office, Hogwarts and Hogsmeade, St. Mungo's, Auror Training Barracks, Buckingham Palace, Westminster and Diagon Alley (With additional guards patrolling Knockturn Alley).

She should really check if the changes affected her, it was kind of an important task. The new 'official' name for the 'Protection Squads' was really the Auror Defence Squadrons, Aurors protection major and important magical areas (that was the official tagline).

Tonks wondered what other changes had been made. The previous updates involved assigning more Aurors to The Prime Minister's Office, St. Mungo's, Auror Training Barracks, Buckingham Palace and Westminster. They'd be running out of people soon.

How the Auror Department was going to do this and their normal jobs, Tonks didn't know. They were underfunded and understaffed already. Stupid Fudge relocating funds to other 'more important resources'. Like his pocket.

She went up to the notice board and looked for her name; at least she would be doing more productive as an official member of the Hogwarts ADS. Though, she knew from stake out work that she'd also be very bored most of the time.

'C. White, R. Coon, M. Gray…" okay that was the St. Mungo's squad. Whoops.

"Outta my way," muttered a burly man.

"Thought you were the nice one, Savage!" Tonks teased the gentle giant.

Savage grinned from under his magnificent moustache. "Of course I am, Tonksie! No one could beat Joe at being a meanie!" referring happily to his partner, Joseph Proudfoot.

Everyone described them as Jekyll and Hyde. It was funny, personally Tonks found the two adorable.

"Well, get out of MY way, ladies first!" Tonks responded.

Savage looked around in confusion, "What lady?"

Tonks smacked his arm with an exaggerated frown on her face, "Oaf! Well, I was here first!"

Chuckling, Savage moved his large body to the side so Tonks could see the board again.

"Looking for changes to where you'll be tied to for the next couple of years?" Savage queried as he was doing the same.

"The war won't last that long…" Tonks said more confidently than she felt, last time it went on for more than a decade.

"Hmpf." Savage said and turned to look at her, "Do you really believe that?"

Tonks didn't answer.

Savage turned so that he was facing her and looked closely at her face.

"I don't think Proudfoot would like you doing this…" Tonks attempted to joke.

"Are you really okay, Tonks?" Savage asked quietly.

"…No, I'm not." She answered after a pause.

Savage nodded, "Alright."


	21. Acceptance?

This position was really quite uncomfortable. He was taller than this werewolf so his hold on Remus' neck forced Remus to stoop slightly.

"Brendan, release," came another, rather stern, voice from behind him.

It sounded like a command you would give an unruly dog. Hopefully it worked; this wolf was dangerously close to being totally feral in Remus' slightly intimidated opinion.

It was another werewolf, an older one. Hopefully it was the alpha, Derrick O'Gaffrey but the wind was blowing in the wrong direction for him to be sure.

The werewolf, Brendan, released him unwillingly; obviously the order came from someone important. He resisted the urge to glare, that would not start him on the right foot with this lot. Grumbling Brendan backed away and Remus could sense the other wolf's presence.

"I do apologise. He's, ah, very _territorial," _he explained. It was Derrick.

"No problem," Remus replied dryly, rubbing his neck. "I've come to accepting random greetings in the past few weeks."

Derrick chuckled at that partially true statement.

"Welcome Northern Ireland. I am Derrick O'Gaffrey of Pack Credo." He introduced with a smile, though he didn't offer a hand to shake. That would have meant that he had accepted Remus' presence as Remus' scent would be present on his hand.

This man was very like the public appearance of Albus. He was unassuming, appearing not weak but not exactly strong either. There was a feeling of authority around him. All that he was missing was the ridiculous amount of power. The werewolf probably had more physical power than magical.

"Jonathan Xander," Remus replied jovially, well as happily as a soaking wet person could when the smell of damp dog emanated from you (Another downside of being a werewolf).

Derrick nodded and asked, "Do you need a place to stay?"

Remus must have looked more dishevelled and sorry looking than usual. That, or Derrick was just a kind soul. Probably a mixture of the two. Hopefully his offer was more due to the latter.

"If you can put me up for a few days. I'm not really sure what I'm doing, yet."

Derrick grinned, showing yellowing teeth. "I figured. Your accent is not like ours. English?"

Remus nodded, wary to give this man too much information at once. He didn't want to sound too rehearsed.

After a few moments of just looking at each other, Remus tried not to blink; Derrick smiled a true smile and clapped him on the back. Remus let out a breath he wasn't aware of holding. He felt like he had passed some sort of exhausting test. Did Derrick know how to wield some magic?

"Welcome to Pack Credo, Jonathan," he welcomed, spreading his arms out rather dramatically, especially since they weren't at the camp yet.

"I can stay?" Remus asked hopefully, not daring to believe that he would accept him just like that. Being a werewolf tended to make one rather bitter about the human race, the normal race.

"Aye, I'll discuss it with my Beta's and partner but we rarely turn a person away. Unless, you are really a Greyback follower in disguise? Though somehow you do not strike me as the type..."

Remus chuckled. "He was the one who turned me as a small child. I have no fond feelings towards that beast. Though, I suppose I should be thankful that I do not come across as the type that would follow Greyback."

"Not willingly perhaps," Derricks says with a grim smile, as if someone he knew has done just that. Okay, avoid talking about Greyback for further notice then.

Remus frowns. "He grievously injured my father once he realised that he could not get at me. I would never join him." That was true; Greyback had injured his father once he was thirteen. He had been home from the holidays.

_Remus was curled up in the Living Room with a Defence Textbook, 'Effective Stances'. It was fascinating._

"_You need to report him, Lyall!" his mother was whispering to his father._

"_And get this whole family investigated? And brand my son? No, I can handle this Hope."_

"_You are a underestimating him! Fenrir Greyback is magical and a dangerous bloodthirsty werewolf! Even I know that and I'm a bloody muggle"_

"_I am aware of that. And don't refer to yourself in a degrading manner!"_

"_Please don't argue about this!"_

"_I am not arguing!"_

"_I don't think you fully understand!"_

"_Hope, I think I understand that some feral idiot wants me dead!"_

"_Why did you not just give him what he wants?"_

'_Knock, knock'_

"_Little piggies, little piggies, let me in!"_

_Growling_

_Splinters of woods exploded inwards._

_Blood...so much blood_

"_Dad!"_

"_Lyall!"_

'_BANG!'_

"_I always get my revenge..."_

_Broken sobbing_

_Blood splattered up the wall._

_His father's limp body oozing blood_

Remus would always be thankful for the Healers at Saint Mungos. Greyback had slashed at his father's chest but they had fixed him though it was rather odd seeing his father develop some wolfish traits.

Derrick nods. No pitying glance or stupid attempt at a smile pretending all was okay, it was just accepted. Everyone here was in the same boat after all. Maybe, this would be alright.

Compassion was nice, pity got annoying and demeaning. Unfortunately everyone just saw the bad things and not the good, not that there were many good things about being forced to turn into a monster once every month except for the enhanced senses.

"How do you know for sure?" Brendan growled

Remus almost jumped, he'd forgotten about Brendan, he had just moved off slightly to the side when Derrick began talking to him.

"Brendan..." Derrick warned.

"I'm just saying! An English Werewolf turns up soon after a war is declared against Voldemort for the second time?"

The man's eyebrows were fascinating. They were thick and bushy and appeared to have a life of their own.

"I need to escape him," Remus defended himself; at least they were aware of the recent goings-on. "I do not want to die, which will happen if he comes for me, again."

"How would he even know you?" Brendan sneered, his overly large mouth pulled back to show his enlarged canines.

"He bit me, as you very well know as you were listening the entire time," Remus said quietly, an undertone of anger in his voice.

There was no need to get angry; Brendan was just protective and wary. He could smell the fear on him, of the unknown, of _him_. No one had ever been afraid of Remus, scared of Moony but never Remus. It was...different. He found the very idea a little disconcerting and disgusting, how could Greyback even live off this type of fear? It felt like slime had been thrown over him, Remus felt like he desperately needed a shower. He needed one anyway.

"Jonathan, Brendan…" Derrick warned again.

They both fell silent, though Brendan was still glaring at him. Remus resisted the childish urge to stick out his tongue and pull a gruesome face. That meant Moony had accepted Derrick as an alpha.

Derrick grinned at them, "I think we'll all get on just fine!" he said cheerfully and clapped Remus on the back. "Camp is this way!"

Remus sighed in relief as Derrick slung an arm around his shoulders, leading him. Brendan trailed behind, pouting (though Remus would never dare say that to his face. He liked his throat where it was thank you very much!)

Remus didn't stop grinning the whole walk to their camp. This experience was definitely going to be interesting...


	22. Evil Wardrobe

Tonks was trapped in her wardrobe, again. And there was no Narnia to amuse her, unfortunately. She loved that book when she was younger. Tonks knew that she shouldn't have tried to reach for those cute pair of useless shoes. But, Tonks after all was female and they were shoes. Do the math.

All she had been doing was packing so she could head to the flat she was sharing with Dawlish, Proudfoot and Savage while she was protecting Hogsmeade. One girl and three guys in one flat was not going to be a good thing. At least she was with Proudfoot and Savage; if those two could keep their hands to themselves in her presence she was fine. They were good mates and always up for a laugh.

But Dawlish, Dawlish! How could anyone expect her to practically live with the man? Oooh, this was NOT going to go well. Something may get blown up. Actually, something definitely will end up blowing up the only undetermined part of it was how quickly it would happen.

Now, where was she? Oh yeah, trying to get out of her wardrobe. When did she buy an orange and green polka dotted scarf? Tonks shifted her leg slightly and an avalanche of clothes rained down on her.

"Ow!" she exclaimed as she was pelted with clothes. How could t-shirts hurt so much?

Well, at least she now knew where her winter boots were.

Rubbing at the lump she could feel swelling up on the side of her head Tonks struggled to stand up. She surveyed the immediate area with extreme caution. You never know what could jump out of a pile of clothes. The last time her mother persuaded (read: forced) her to spring clean she had gotten attacked by a mutant bra from when she was sixteen. Niiiiice. Not. And Tonks definitely didn't remember buying a lime green bra. Because that would be odd.

"Stupid wardrobe. Never stays clean." She grumbled, carefully picking herself out of the pile. Tonks kicked away what she could to clear a path but some items just mysteriously stuck to the floor. She was probably better off not knowing why.

Maybe it would be safer to levitate her clothes rather than actually touch them...

'BAM'

"Owwwwww!" Tonks howled, hopping around on one foot briefly before she fell back into the pile of clothes, her face landing in her underwear. Lovely.

"What the heck was that?" she asked aloud as if the great clothes ghost was going to answer her. Hmpf. She wishes.

After crawling around pathetically for a few minutes (and making the mess on her floor even worse if that was possible) Tonks finally found the culprit of her throbbing left big toe. And yes, she had to be that exact.

It was the animagus book that she had started reading oh so long ago in Grimmauld Place last year. When she was desperately in love with Remus (or a schoolgirl crush depending on how you looked at it).

She had always loved Transfiguration, probably because her body was a natural form of it. It was always enjoyable and she had always excelled at it. McGonagall actually smiled at her frequently during her seven years at Hogwarts, the horror!

If Tonks remembered correctly she had made her way through quite a decent portion of the book. Ah, yes, here was her latest dog eared page (she could hear Remus scolding her now about proper book etiquette or something like that).

The next chapter she was to pursue was 'Understanding'. Sounds _thrilling_. Technically the speed at which you progressed through the Animagus Transformation depended on the amount of hours you were willing to dedicate practising and how quick you were to accept yourself as a person.

Thankfully her mother had taught meditation as a young child to create basic occulemency barriers and in effort to control her shape-shifting. It was the having to be focused for thirty minutes caught her. It took Tonks six months to master that!

She was now at the third main step, Acceptance. Tonks realised that accepting all the nasty parts of yourself as well as the good was very difficult and painful (emotionally) so she decided to not do that step for a while. Her emotional state was bad enough at the moment without facing ugly truths about herself.

Sighing she swished her wand vaguely in the direction of her wardrobe. Every item of clothing just zoomed about in that direction. It also created an awful lot of noise.

"Argh!" Nothing was going right today!

Deciding that it was best to get most of her packing done now, Tonks summoned a suitcase and began organised the heap of...stuff by her wardrobe.

Definitely her warmer clothes and maybe some board games? Savage and Proudfoot were either sickeningly cute or downright annoying when bored so some form of distraction would be good. Hey, most of them even had little game pieces which she could chuck at Dawlish whenever he annoyed her (which was going to be often).

Once everything was packed away (read: shoved and squeezed in) Tonks was ready to go! Yay! Several months in close quarters with smelly guys! Well, Savage was actually kind of pedantic about personal hygiene and stuff...

"Just plain odd seeing a wizard carrying hand sanitizer," Tonks muttered while doing a last minute sweep around her flat for any random socks that might have been ignored.

Seeing that there were no neglected socks or other items Tonks decided that it was high time she left so that she'd be there early.

Dawlish was sure to comment on her apparently rubbish time-keeping skills anyway. Also, being one of the first to arrive meant that she could pick the best room! Did she remember to bring her posters and music? They would make the place a bit homier and be obnoxiously annoying to Dawlish. Not that pissing off Dawlish was completely necessary.

Oh, who was Tonks kidding? Of course annoying Dawlish was necessary.

"I wonder if I could make him bust a vein?" Tonks wondered out loud.


	23. Clinging

Remus soon discovered that he couldn't sleep properly the first week he was with the Pack. Nothing felt right, the Pack didn't trust him yet so he had no one. Never before had he felt this alone, not counting the first few years after that Halloween.

He had become accustomed to being the sort of uncle to a dysfunctional family. He enjoyed the Weasley's joyful company, loved having Hermione pit her brains against his and simply sitting with Harry nearby was perfect. He was used to bantering with Sirius and sharing stories but nothing compared to seeing Nymphadora day in and out. In the kitchen, loitering around until the last possible minute to go to work, tripping over something in the hall or laughing at something that had happened and him always catching her.

Was she still falling over things now? Would anyone else help her up? No one did, as far as he could remember. The twins laughed, Alastor glared and scolded, Severus sneered and Molly got exasperated.

Oh how he wished that he could hold her in his arms...

"Mr John, Mr John!" called a young childish voice from outside the small shack Remus had been provided with.

Remus wearily picked himself up from his battered armchair, the only piece of furniture in the room bar a table and a pallet of sorts. He nudged open the loosely hinged door (he'd have to fix that) to be greeted by a small ragged, dirty blonde haired girl.

It was Caoimhe, the youngest addition to the pack at five years old. From what Remus had seen of her, she was just like her name suggested.

"Johnny said dinner was ready and you got to have something," she told him, smiling sweetly.

Nodding at the small child, who waited pointedly for him, he followed her to the campfire. It smelt like someone had been able to get a hold of some sausages. Remus' stomach rumbled at the thought.

Caoimhe giggled. "Your tummy's talking!"

"Yep, it's saying it's very hungry," Remus replied, eyes glinting with mirth. "Hungry enough to eat a small girl!" And with that he lifted her up, pretended to growl (which came out as a real growl) and easily swung her around which she took great delight in.

Holding her close, which was more due to the fact that she was stubbornly refusing to be set back on her own two feet by clinging to him with her bony hands. Damn, little cubs were strong!

He got nods of greeting as he passed by and Caoimhe got fond looks. She was obviously well loved by the pack. Never mind that she was the youngest. She had this permanently cheerful and optimistic air about her, never appearing to be sad or lonely. Happy talking to herself if no one cared to listen. Remus hoped that stayed with her for the rest of her life, it would be the only way she would be able to keep going sometimes.

"Brendan's being grumpy again," Caoimhe stated with a bit of a pout. "Tol' me to quit whining and to go away."

Ah, Brendan. The werewolf who tried to strangle and intimidate him when he first arrived. Lovely greeting that was. He wasn't an especially pleasant character, though he was very loyal to the pack, just very grumpy and all the cubs knew not to ask him to play.

"He's just not looking forward to tomorrow night," Remus said, that was going to be the full moon.

"None of us are," she said pointedly with childish insight. "It huwts."

Remus sighed sadly over what the cubs had to deal with every month. Most of them didn't completely understand what went on, only that it hurt and it was bad and they never remembered what happened that night in the morning. That and it was the reason that none of them had a mummy or daddy or even a kindly auntie. Oh if only Molly could get at some of these cubs...they'd be as fat as bears in no time.

"I know Caoimhe, he must just like being grumpy." Remus said completely seriously, he believed it himself. Brendan Walters and Severus Snape would get along just fine.

Caoimhe nodded with all the seriousness that a five year old could muster

It seemed that Gillian West was now alpha female although she had no romantic attachment to Derrick. Everyone seemed to view her relationship with Logan Young as marriage. How long had she been a part of this pack? Unfortunately he couldn't ask any questions on that, it would mean he'd have to explain how he knew that there was another alpha female very recently. That could blow his cover as a new person to the area.

And he'd break their trust and he quite liked these people. Remus was just eternally thankful that he did not have to infiltrate Greyback's packs (Yes, that monster had alpha control of at least three and influence on a further seven). That would definitely not end well.

"Johnny!" shrieked Gemma Jones, ploughing her way over to him and interrupting his thought process rather abruptly.

Remus winced at her incredibly shrill voice that he had come to dread hearing.

Gemma Jones was quite frankly a tart. And that was Remus being gentlemanly. She wore indecent skirt or far too tight trousers with very clingy tops which showed off all those unattractive bulges of loose skin. She was one of the few werewolves that weren't scrawny. Instead she looked like she lost too much weight at once. Personally, Remus preferred the scrawny underfed look to loose flabs of skin shaking and wobbling at every movement.

"Good Evening, Gemma," he replied to her politely.

Her brightly painted lips curled into a very suggestive smirk. These contortions of her facial muscles made Caoimhe flee from him and into the safety of Ben, Anna and Louise a few of the other cubs.

She moved uncomfortably close to him and grasped his arm.

"It's such a nice night, isn't it?" she purred, her face uncomfortably close to his. The smell of sweat and cigarette smoke rose from her body like a wave.

Her yellow teeth barred into a grin as she tried to press as much of her body into his.

"Erm, yes," he said, tugging nervously at his collar. "Much better weather."

Oh Merlin, he had resorted to talking about the weather of all things.

"Yes, so pleasant." She was practically rubbing her body along his.

A few smirks were directed his way by other males, though he did get some sympathetic looks. He was apparently one of Gemma's new toys. Basically meaning he appeared single and was male. So he was fair game.

"Shall we enjoy this night together?" Gemma asked, batting blue eyelids at him.

"Erm, well..." Remus began to say, wondering how on earth to get out of this predicament and still be polite. Her breast was pressed uncomfortably against his chest.

"It would be so nice and cosy," Gemma continued, scraping a filthy nail down his clean(ish) shirt. He shuddered again.

"Grubs up!" called Alan, looking around him through his untamed blonde hair.

Immediately Remus darted to the campfire. Far better to appear greedy than to be in that sort of situation.

Saved by the sausages.


	24. Stupid Men

**AN: I am really, really, REALLY sorry everyone and thank you to those who pestered me enough to get this going again. First year of uni was far more stressful than I thought it would be and my inspiration for this story just took a dive off a cliff. Thankfully it has resurfaced and look out for more chapters soon!**

Tonks sighed heavily as she chucked her copy of Witch's Weekly. It wasn't even fun to poke at the image to piss them off anymore. Not without Remus blushing at some of the pictures and telling her off anyway.

Argh, why did every thought of hers have to include that fool!

Tonks looked around at the dingy room she had to sleep in. Apparently Scrimongeour thought that the Aurors would be less inconspicuous in the Hogs Head for the time being (Though there were supposed to be flats available in more reputable places but they weren't ready yet).

She hated this placed. It smelt like goats, stale beer and strange body odours that she didn't want identified. It really wasn't helping her mood any.

Flicking a limp piece of hair from her face Tonks stood in front of the mirror, though you couldn't really call it that, it was cracked in so many places that the reflection was more of a kaleidoscope effect. Interesting but not good if you wanted to check out your outfit (not that she had any reason to do that recently since she was always on patrol. There were only so many times you could patrol the small wizarding village before it got boring).

She thought about turning her hair blue, to match her mood. Nothing. She screwed up her face and really concentrated. Still nothing. She couldn't have this! She couldn't survive with _normal _hair!

This was really depressing. Sirius would have-she shook her head and blinked back tears. No, she wasn't going to think of what he might have done. He was gone. Wiping her eyes on her sleeves Tonks turned away from the mirror and tried to smile.

"Tonks! We'll be guarding Hogsmeade Station tomorrow!" Proudfoot yelled while running into the room. He stopped suddenly and looked at her. "What's up with your face?"

Proudfoot, always so blunt. She loved him really, sometimes.

Tonks shook her head. "Nothing," she said softly. "And I kind of figured we would be considering that we are guarding Hogsmeade, you know?"

Proudfoot rolled his eyes and said, "Yeah, I know that. I'm not that dumb-"

"So you admit you're dumb then?" Tonks interrupted, smiling slightly.

That just made him glare at her. "Shut up. But do you know what time we'll be guarding the station from? Eight AM!"

Tonks groaned loudly. They'd be hanging around the station for ten hours!

'Flump' Tonks smacked her head into her pillow

"Why?" she wailed.

"I know," Proudfoot said empathetically, he liked his sleep. "They want us to thoroughly check the area and the area surrounding five miles up the track for any possible traps or ambushes."

Tonks groaned. "Why would Voldemort ambush the train?"

Proudfoot winced at the Dark Lord's name and shrugged. "There are over six hundred kids on that train basically defenceless. It would be the perfect time to kill a lot off hope."

She scrunched up her nose in disgust.

"Would Death Eaters really do that and risk their children? Death Eater children do go to Hogwarts, remember?"

"Shame," He said carelessly.

Tonks sat up quickly and glared. "They can't help that their parents are Death Eaters! It doesn't mean that they'll turn out like them!"

"But-"

"Come on! People used to call me a Death Eater's kid when I was at Hogwarts just because mum was a Black!"

"Ton-"

"And people only believed that she wasn't a Death Eater when she stood up to Bellatrix in public and she almost kidnapped me!"

"Your ha-"

"What?" Tonks snapped, annoyed at her friend.

"Your hair is red."

"What?" she said this time in amazement and swung around to the mirror.

Proudfoot was right, or nearly right. The roots of her hair had turned a faded red colour. Like a reverse bad hair job.

"Hmm, you managed to piss me off enough."

Proudfoot frowned and sat down on her small bed. "What's up with your morphing anyway?"

"Nothing," Tonks muttered in reply, self-consciously tugging on the end of her hair. She should really get it cut...

Proudfoot made an impatient noise. "You know damn well what I'm on about." His grammar slipped as he got annoyed.

"Just not been in the mood," Tonks mumbled after a few minutes passed.

An incredulous look was given to her. "Tonks not in the mood to be obnoxious? What the hell?"

Tonks' hands fluttered in agitated gestures.

"Been too distracted with more depressing stuff and it now takes up far too much energy."

"Even to turn blue?" Proudfoot asked curiously, even he knew that that was the colour her hair turned when she was sad.

"Suspect it's because I am more depressed than upset," Tonks thought out loud.

Savage decided to come in right at that moment.

"Tonksy depressed?" he said incredulously.

"Shut up," Tonks grumbled, not appreciating all of this attention.

Savage absentmindedly embraced Proudfoot who made googly eyes at him. She tried to refrain from sighing. She really wanted Remus now. Or a hug. Better yet, a hug from Remus.

"We should get to a nightclub!" Savage proclaimed happily. For such a large man, a silly grin on his face was very out of place. Tonks half expected him to start skipping (she wasn't even joking-she had seen him do this before when he got really good news).

"And how are we going to do that?" Proudfoot asked his partner. "Who will cover us?"

"We could make our own!" Savage declared. "Give the Hogs Head a bit of a lift."

"Don't think Abe would particularly like that." Tonks informed him. "He has high standards for his filthiness."

Savage waved his hand airily. "I'll sort it all out. Don't worry your little head about it."

And with that he dragged Proudfoot out of the room and skipped happily down the corridor. Well, until he hit his head on the low ceiling overhang.

Tonks couldn't help but snort with laughter. Unfortunately she couldn't even feel the tingle she had long associated with her morphing.

Sighing heaving she buried her face in her pillow. Maybe she should forget about Remus? Just give up? But he was the best thing that ever happened to her.

"Stupid men," Tonks muttered to her pillow.

Thankfully her pillow didn't talk back.


	25. September First

**AN: Apologies again for the long wait! Real Life and Uni Life (yes, those are two different things!) got in the way. BUT to make up for it here's two chapters for your enjoyment! Please forgive me!**

Remus checked his watch for the fourth time in ten minutes. Today was the first of September and Harry and his friends were returning to Hogwarts. He didn't know who their Order Guide was (for they were certain to have one surely?) or any of their fears for this year.

It would have been nice to have spoken to them and at least wish them luck but of course he couldn't. Remus was attempting to recruit here instead. Not that he wasn't appreciative of the fact that he had been placed with a decent Pack to start off with, but it was lonely even if the people were decent.

Although he was sure that that fact would change once Albus decided that he had more use for a werewolf spy than a werewolf recruiter. Werewolves in Greyback's Pack were definitely on the opposite end of decent.

Eleven o'clock was approaching slowly. Maybe he could nip over to the Burrow and have a quick chat? No his disappearance would be noted by the Pack and they weren't completely at ease with him yet. It would be better not to risk things.

He could practically see the scarlet train winding into the station. Remus remembered that in his first year he had been so paranoid about getting there late that he had ended up at the station before the train had even arrived! The train was truly an impressive sight and didn't abate the terrifying nervousness he'd had that day.

"Hello, John!" greeted Seamus, a werewolf about the same age as him. "What's the glum face for?"

Remus shrugged his shoulder. "Weather's getting to me." He claimed.

Well, the weather was dull and grey. That seemed to be the only type of weather over here. It was quite depressing and it was barely the end of summer.

"Ah, it will dry up soon now that the schools have all gone back," Seamus said cheerfully slapping him on the back. "You'll get used to it."

"Hmm," was all Remus said unconvincingly.

Would he even be here long enough to get used to the weather? No offense to the Pack or anything, but he really hoped not. The wolf in him didn't like being away from his own pack. He did not know that it was possible for this amount of rain to fall if you weren't in the north of Scotland.

Actually, recent communications with Albus showed that unless a few werewolves suddenly showed that they favour for one side or another then he'd probably move on in a few weeks. Although, Remus had pointed out that he'd have to stay a few months so that the Pack would actually trust him if Albus wanted any information. Remus hoped that Albus' hunger for information would allow him to stay here longer.

It was nice not having to literally watch his back every time someone moved suddenly. In a normal pack (this lot definitely did not act normal!) it would mean someone had done something wrong or someone was picking a fight to move up the pack hierarchy. Granted, that only happened in more unstable packs but still.

"C'mon! Cheer up!" Seamus urged, after a slightly awkward pause. "Look a few of us are going to show they young one's how to trap rabbits. You up for helping?"

Remus automatically was going to decline, he had got into the habit of being a bit of a lone wolf (which the Pack adults could probably sense and usually left him to himself), but he did love to teach and this was the only chance since Hogwarts that he'd gotten a chance to. Though, he didn't have much experience at trapping rabbits. He did remember James and Sirius getting a hold of an old Muggle History book detailing bear traps and they'd attempted to make one. They had planted it in the Forbidden Forest and managed to trap Hagrid of all things. Remus suspected Hagrid had never quite forgiven the two of them.

Trapping rabbits and other wild animals was a good skill for werewolves to have. It provided free meat, which was important since most werewolves were never hired never mind having a career. Unless they had supportive family, which were almost nonexistent, they had no support whatsoever.

"Alright. I'll join you," Remus agreed, smiling. It would be good to get to know people better. Especially if it would make him feel less lonely and it would surely help the Order more if he was a bit more personally involved.

He didn't dwell on the fact that the Order was the second reason for becoming closer with them rather than his first.

"Alright!" cheered Luke, another werewolf of similar age to Remus, and slapped him on the back. "It's always great craic and someone always nearly gets their fingers chopped off!"

Seamus rolled his eyes and smiled at a slightly shocked Remus.

"Our Luke has a strange sense of humour, he has."

"I see," Remus replied, slightly dazed.

Seamus yelled something behind him. Four of the 'cubs' ran over to the burly Irishman that was Seamus. They ranged from about nine to fifteen and only two of them were girls. All of them were dresses as neatly as well worn second (or maybe third) hand clothing would allow them too.

He was surprised to see Anna approach them. She was the oldest 'cub' on the cusp of her sixteenth birthday. She was aggressive and extremely protective of the babies of the pack. Remus was pretty sure she was able to fend for herself perfectly well.

"Anna's going to help us keep track of them all," Seamus explained to him, resting a hand on the wiry girl's shoulder.

Anna shrugged the friendly hand off and glared at them both.

"She's one of our best trappers!" Luke bellowed, grinning. "Many a night we thought we'd had no meat only for her to come home with a rabbit or four!"

A flicker of a smile crossed her face before she slouched and pointedly turned her back to them.

"Dermot! Sean! Get your arses over here and stop killin' each other!" she yelled at two dark haired boys.

Similar enough to pass for brothers, Dermot and Sean were the troublemakers of the group. They were always scrapping with each other and tended to get into trouble with the local police.

Remus groaned softly to himself. They wouldn't get much done if those two were joining them. He and Seamus would spend most of their time keeping those two close by.

The two of them suddenly stopped trying to rub each other's face in the ground and practically sprinted over.

Anna cuffed the two of them around the head.

"Behave!" she snapped, glaring at them.

With wide eyes the two nodded and scampered over to Seamus fearfully.

Well then. It looked like they were terrified of Anna. Maybe this would be easier than it looked.

"Whose ready for some learning?" shouted Luke, waving some string above his head.

"He's going to take his own eye out with that," muttered Anna.

"More than likely," agreed Remus.

The young girl looked at him critically. Remus fought the urge to look away, it was almost as bad as Derrick's gaze. Apparently he passed muster with her as she smiled a genuine smile and then ran forward to grab the string out of Luke's hands before he hurt himself.

This was going to be interesting.


	26. Snape Victorious

Grumbling under her breath, Tonks shuffled to the side as a wave of students came off the train. She did not want to fall over in this crowd. That would be a very painful experience that she would prefer not to happen.

She couldn't see any of her 'patrol-mates' or Dawlish through the crowds of students. Why was everyone taller than her?

After a few minutes Tonks spotted Ginny who waved at her while still chatting to a blonde haired girl who Tonks vaguely recognised. Sweetgood-no, Lovegood! The Quibbler girl who was at the ministry. Tonks still didn't know why she had been at the Ministry that night, there had been one too many pointless deaths, they didn't some random child to get caught in it.

Okay Tonks was upset and Lovegood was probably good friends with e 'Ministry Six' as Harry, Ron, Hermone, Ginny, Neville Longbottom and Lovegood girl had been nicknamed. She had gone out of her way to avoid Ginny and all this summer so she didn't know any of the gossip about what happened that night. Not that she particularly wanted to.

Eventually Tonks spotted Ron's gangly frame, would that boy ever stop growing? Hermione spotted Tonks and dragged the poor boy over to her (Hermione's nails were sharp). Neville Longbottom was also with them and followed behind awkwardly.

"Hi Tonks!" Hermione said brightly while Ron grunted.

Tonks nodded and scanned the crowd.

"Where's Harry?" she asked

Hermione frowned and bit her lip.

"Dunno," Ron said. "He left our carriage an hour ago and never returned."

"And you didn't look for him?" Tonks asked amazed.

All three looked guilty and shook their heads.

Tonks sighed, "Look I haven't seen him but after the place clears I'll ask my colleagues if they've seen him. You lot go ahead.

The three students nodded and trudged towards the carriages.

Finally the crowd cleared but Tonks still hadn't seen Harry. She checked with Dawlish, Proudfoot and Savage but none of them had seen him. They all split up and looked along the train.

The blinds were closed on one about three carriages down, odd. Boarding the train and scrambling down the corridor she pushed the compartment door open only to see, nothing.

Frowning Tonks looked around the compartment. See something silvery flutter at a corner, his invisibility cloak, Tonks tugged at it. Harry came into view.

"**Wotcher, Harry." **The boy in question was completely immobile.

**There was a flash of red light a Harry's body unfroze; he was able to push himself up into a more dignified sitting position, hastily wipe blood off his bruised face with the back of his hand and raised his head to look up at Tonks, who was holding the Invisibility cloak she had just pulled away.**

"**We'd better get out of here, quickly," she said as the train windows became obscured with steam and the train began to move out of the station. "Come on, we'll jump."**

**Harry hurried after her into the corridor. Tonks pulled open the train door and leapt onto the platform, which seemed to be sliding underneath them as the train gathered momentum. Harry followed her, staggered a little on landing. **For once, she was not the one who fell!

**Silently, she handed back his Invisibility Cloak.**

"**Who did it?"**

"**Draco Malfoy," said Harry bitterly. "Thanks for...well..."**

"**No problem," said Tonks without smiling. "I can fix your nose if you stand still."**

**He stayed stock still and closed his eyes. **It was like he didn't trust her or something.

"_**Espiksey,**_**" said Tonks.**

**Harry raised a hand and felt it gingerly.**

"**Thanks a lot!"**

"**You'd better put that Cloak back on, and we can walk up to the school," said Tonks.**

She wordlessly sent her Patronus off towards Hagrid's Hut, Remus rushing off from her, again.

"**Was that a Patronus?" asked Harry.**

"**Yes, I'm sending word to the castle that I've got you, or they'll worry. Come on, we better not dawdle." **Tonks didn't want to be anywhere near Hogwarts. She just wanted to mope I her room.

**They set off towards the lane that led to the school.**

"**How did you find me?"**

"**I noticed that you hadn't left the train and I knew you had that Cloak. I thought you might be hiding for some reason. When I saw the blinds were drawn on that compartment I thought I'd check."**

"**But what are you doing here anyway?" Harry asked. **Inquisitive little bugger he was. Not that Tonks was up for a lot of chat but she remembered that Sirius told her that Lily was always very nosey.

"**I'm stationed at Hogsmeade now, to give the school extra protection," said Tonks.**

"**Is it just you who's stationed here or-?" **Why the heck would the Auror department just assign one person to guard a village and a school? That's just daft. Mind you, four aren't enough either...

"**No, Proudfoot, Savage and Dawlish are here too."**

"**Dawlish, that Auror Dumbledore attacked last year?"**

"**That's right.**

**They trudged up the dark, deserted lane, following the freshly made carriage tracks **in blessed silence. She wouldn't have been able to take much more chatter.

Though, maybe if Harry talked more Tonks wouldn't have to listen to her own thoughts as much.

Half an hour later they had finally reached the gates of Hogwarts. She heard rather than saw Harry try to push the gates open.

"_**Alohomora," **_she heard him say **but nothing happened.**

"**That won't work on these," said Tonks. "Dumbledore bewitched them himself."**

**Harry looked around.**

"**I could climb a wall," he suggested.**

"**No, you couldn't. Anti-intruder jinxes on all of them. Security has been tightened by a hundredfold this summer."**

"**Well, then," said Harry, "I suppose I'll just have to sleep out here and wait for morning."**

Tonks almost chuckled, almost. **"Someone's coming down for you," said Tonks. "Look."**

**A lantern was bobbing at the distant foot of the castle. **Was it Filch? Or Hagrid? Hagrid surely wouldn't take this long getting here with his long strides. It must be a teacher.

Tonks noticed an **uplift hooked nose and long, black, greasy hair. **Severus Snape. Of course.

The 'Professor' sneered and made a stupid comment directed at Harry once he unlocked the gates.

"**There is no need to wait, Nymphadora. Potter is quite – ah – safe in my hands."**

Yeah right. She did not want to be the person who caused the Boy-Who-Lived to reach an early demise at the hands of his Potions Professor.

"**I meant Hagrid to get the message," said Tonks frowning**. She couldn't stand the greasy bat. It wasn't possible for someone to intercept a Patronus.

"**Hagrid was late for the start-of-term feast, just like Potter here, so I took it instead. And incidentally," said Snape, standing back to allow Harry to pass him, "I was interested to see your new Patronus." **

Tonks stiffened at that. He wouldn't...

There was a clang of the gates as he shut them in her face.

"**I think you were better off with the old one," said Snape, the malice in his voice unmistakable. "The new one looks weak."**

**Snape swung the lantern about **as Tonks felt a rush of shock and anger flow through her. How dare he!

She thought Harry said goodnight or something but she was lost in anger and despair. She called back a reply of sorts before storming back down to the village.

Stupid greasy git.


End file.
